Women over 40

[annyokie]

Funny stuff from my Dad's email.

[GenXFreedomFighter]

An older aquaintance of mine offered this sage advice:

They don't tell, they don't swell, and they're grateful as hell."

duck and run

[andysandmikesmom]

That line sounds quite familiar...

Sounds like something from an old Benny Hill song, called something like 'Give me an older Woman every Time'...I think the line from that song, was 'They dont holler, they dont yell, and they're grateful as hell'....

[annyokie]

"I love older women; they are so grateful" Ben Franklin

You're in good company!

[andysandmikesmom]

Here is a naughty, bawdy song from the Benny Hill Songbook....

Older Woman

Now I'm known as Dapper Dan, the lady killer man,
And those that I don't kill I wound a bit.
I run a fancy car, I call it the Mayflower,
On account of all the Puritans that've come across in it.
Now I took 20-year-old Pam up to the wood near Boulder Dam,
Stopped the car and thought that she'd know what to do.
I said, "Get in the back now, Pam," she said, "What the heck do you think I am?"
I wanna stay in the front seat here with you."

Chorus:
Oh, give me an older woman every time, every time,
Give me an older woman every time.
They don't yell, and they don't tell, and oh, they're grateful as hell,
So give me an older woman every time.

Now the day that my Uncle Joe married my Aunt Flo,
He was forty-four and she was sixty-nine,
That night as I lay on my bed, I heard every word they said,
I couldn't help it, 'cause their room was next to mine.
He said, "How about it, dear," she pretended not to hear,
He begged and pleaded 'til his voice was hoarse and deep,
He said, "Oh how about it, Flo," she said, "How about what, Joe,"
He said, "How about packin' this in and the pair of us gettin' some sleep."

Chorus

Now last year I divorced Moreen, she was just nineteen,
The day that she became my bony bride.
She was as cold as charity, just as frigid as could be,
When she opened her mouth a little light came on inside.
Now last week I met her at a party, I was feelin' kinda gay kinda hearty,
And several whiskeys had sharpened up my wit.
I said, "How about a bit of whoppee," she said, "Over my dead body,"
I said, "Moreen, gal, you haven't changed a bit."

Chorus

Now when I was just a boy I took a little gal called Joy,
Down to the meadow where we laid down by a hedge.
I said, "Do you know, my pretty little squaw, what your lovely lips are for?"
She said, "To stop my mouth from fraying 'round the edge."
Now I tell you my wife's fifty-three, but you know she still suits me,
Though of late her hearing ain't so hot,
But at night as we lay on our bed, I put my lips close to her head,
And I say, "Well are you going to sleep or what?" and she says, "What?"

Chorus, except last line
So give me an older woman,
A real hot-blooded woman,
A ripe 'n' peachy woman,
Give me an older woman every time.

[annyokie]

LOL! I loved Benny Hill! I'm forwarding this to hubby! Thanks so much!

[andysandmikesmom]

You are welcome...I also loved Benny Hill...he had some really funny songs...glad you liked that one about 'Older Women'

[annyokie]

It is a scream! Good thing we older women have a sense of humor!

[habs4ever]

That is very funny stuff! :)

[andysandmikesmom]

I sure did love Benny Hill...he really was a scream, with all his antics, and his funny songs, and his rubbery face, that he could bend and twist into all sorts of funny faces...

My favorite character that he did was 'Fred Scuttle'...that character was just a scream, and would send me howling...

[andysandmikesmom]

For those older women or those soon to be older women, and for the gents that appreciate them, come read this thread, especially the Benny Hill song about 'Older Women'

[annyokie]

Shoot, I loved the Hill's Angels. Pretty dancing girls.....they were no worse than Dean Martin's Golddiggers.

I loved the little toothless guy and the silly bicycle antics.

I miss Benny and all his double entendres!.

[ValerieUSA]

Thanks, Mom. My Dad is a huge Benny Hill fan. I'm gonna e-mail this to him... yikes, poor guy! All of his daughters are now "older women" if 40 is the threshold.

[Mo1]

I still have a few more months till the Lordy Lordy .. Look Who's 40 Day

As you can tell ... I'm not handling it well .. LOL

[annyokie]

Oh, Mo. It isn't so bad, I'm looking at 45 in December!

[Mo1]

That's what I hear .. till then, I'm still in denial .. LOL

[annyokie]

Life begins at 40, girlfriend! I'm in better,though slightly larger shape since I've bulked up to a size 6,and health. Tan, tired, gardening fool who still can't keep the house clean, but no longer cares!

[ErnBatavia]

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

I love excuses to post my favorite drag queen photo...

[annyokie]

Oh, Ern! Yick!

[andysandmikesmom]

That little toothless guy....he was little Jackie...I used to get a kick out of Benny always patting him on top of his little head...

When my brother died, on the day of funeral, when the hearse came to the house to pick us up, my mom noted, that the hearse driver looked just like little Jackie...we all took a look, and sure enough, he was the spitting image of little Jackie...and just as short...it was a little bit of humor, on such a sad day...my brother, a Benny Hill fan as well, would have smirked at the drole coincidence, that the hearse driver for his family, looked just like little Jackie...