The Evil of Dating

Lew Rockwell ^ | by Heather M. Carson

[DeaconBenjamin]

I haven't participated in one of these flame wars before. FWIW, what she's saying makes sense to me.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

No kissing until they are married? She should be aware that her new husband is quite a gambler..... better not take him to Vegas or Atlantic City.......

[Tijeras_Slim]

I bet this chick is a real blast on a date. :)

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Here's my problem with her self rightous idea of not even so much as a kiss before the marriage is legal: Where is the passion in this relationship? At the very least, once they were engaged you would think they would have shown some unbridled lust....... 'cause if the passion isn't there at that point in the relationship, it is going to be very hard to find once they've been together for years.......

By the way, my husband says he knew he would marry me the night we first met.........we just celebrated our 18th anniversary......

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

But, but, but.......she's a professional counselor! lol

[TightSqueeze]

I once had a date with a fig on prune street, does that count, or am I just raisin another problem?

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Yes, all those case studies and overblown opinions of the professors help so much in the real world.........

[rintense]

Well, as a single gal, I think the problem with dating is the term 'dating' itself. The word 'dating' implies a certain level of physical attachment and expectation- one that I believe society has fostered. There also seems to be those who don't want to date because of the formality of that word- dating. It does imply some sort of relationship.

As for me, I have also given up on dating, simply because of the false expectations surrounding that term. Sure, I go out with guys, but it's usually to golf, bike ride, skate, or something like that. Heck, I've even had guys go shopping with me. Now THAT'S an ideal date! LOL. Overall, I think it comes down to setting and following your own expectations and rules rather than those society expects.

[rintense]

Whole heartedly agree with ya, WhyisaTexasgirlinPA. My little sister wanted to get married during her freshman year in college because they wanted to 'be together'. I chuckled and said, 'honey, if you simply want to get married so you can have sex, you need to just do it now and get it over with.' Well, she replied, 'It's a sin.' My reply to her is, 'And getting married just to have sex isn't? Don't you think that God knows what's in your heart?'

Then I quizzed her on what she thought it meant to be married. I was floored. It was like reading some puritanical laundry list of duties! So I asked her, 'where's the passion?' And she said, 'there's more to marriage than just sex.' Again, I laughed and said, 'I'm not talking just about physcial passion. I'm talking about the passion you have for one another. For what each one does, for who each of you are...' She had no answer. And broke up with the guy a few months later.

So, yes, I agree. Passion is key. Physical, spiritual, or otherwise, a relationship without passion is destined for failure. That's why I'm still single. :)

[HairOfTheDog]

I am not sure anyone needs to be as strict as this, but I like the idea of courting. If they would agree, I would agree!

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Great answer rintense........

[xsmommy]

all that aside, i am looking at this purely as the mother of a teenager. i agree with the author to the extent that i see way too much permissiveness going on amongst my kids peers. just yesterday i got a call from friends of mine (mothers of BOYS always call mothers of girls for SCOOP!! i am a source....) asking about what had happened in the 8th grade classroom this week. Not in my daughter's class, because she is in the upper level nerd/geek class, but all of her friends were in this particular classroom at issue.

So the deal is there was truth or dare going on in the classroom, and one of the boys was feeling one of the girls up, IN THE CLASSROOM, while the class was going on, and the teacher was on the phone. I know this boy, he is from an exceptionally nice family, the girl is new to the school. this is CATHOLIC school. he is an altar boy and his family is very religious. i am not interested in my kids experiencing PASSION anytime soon! One of my daughter's friends had a crush on this particular boy, and xsteen said to her, hey, i think he looks like bad news, why are you interested in him. xsteen has a level head on her shoulders, a few of her friends i worry about.