Posted on 02/18/2024 2:41:01 PM PST by nickcarraway
My son has bipolar. He’s on meds, but he never really seems happy. He has a college degree in economics, but he just works at Whole Foods. He’s very smart, but has a terrible self image.
He was such a sweet young boy. It makes me very, very sad. I wish I could help him more.
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I don’t doubt there are some legitimate cases of actual mental issues due to physical problems with the brain, but I think otherwise you are on track. Too much of what is diagnosed as mental issues is spiritual in nature.
She’s over 70. Doesn’t want my help. Well, sometimes. She wants me to agree with her. I tell her she needs therapy. Her marriage is a wreck. Yes, it’s a runaway train. She hurts a lot of people, including herself, her kids, her husband, me, my husband, and my kids. I don’t stop trying, but it’s so freaking hard sometimes. She ruins family times together, including vacations. Vacations are for getting away from life’s problems, not for making them front and center, and harder to deal with, but that’s what we’ve gotten with her the last few years. I just never know which person is going to show up.
Can you discuss with his MD? Just a suggestion but if he’s on his own there’s privacy issues. If he allows it maybe you can help with changes?
I don’t know. Sometimes it’s just the environment and the stressors that go with it especially competeing for grades in college, girls, whatever. One good thing with bipolar( if that’s good) there appear to be better medications that help much more so than 20 years ago.
The biggest problem is, and I’m not a doctor, the biggest problem is being able for the care team( and MD) to see changes. That takes a lot of humbling writing on self daily and writing out the changes because no one but your son is with them 24/7.
I do hope the treatment(s) work soon. It’s a tragedy watching a family member slipping into despair.
“In fact, I’m not sure any level of training or education can equip a professional to understand it.”
Agree with your view. As stated, I was an RN with a psych degree and it’s just hard to diagnose. This sounds like a duel dx but I was never in a capacity to diagnose and bipolar, far as my 24 years saw, is very hard to diagnose without a long time of observation of behaviors.
Appeared some psychiatrists had a good education on bipolar but some...I do not know. Some I could not se bipolar. It’s not an easy diagnoses.
Seventy and never dx’ed or just getting worse? Sometimes with age, me included there’s stressors in age that can mimic serious mood swings but it’s the stress of age, diminished capacity, compensation, so much. I hope it’s not bipolar but she does sound like life is hard to cope and needs more help that you( or anyone) can give?
She's entitled to make her own decisions. So that's that.
Oh, she’s been seeing therapists since she was in her mid 30’s. She’s just tired of it. She does have a doctor but the doc isn’t a “shrink”. Just her “female” doctor. She doesn’t want to face it anymore, and the rest of us have to deal with it. Her gynecologist gives her the Rx. No therapy anymore, just drugs. She’s done all she wants to do. She doesn’t even refill her Rx if she doesn’t feel like it, and you know, that’s when all hell really breaks loose.
I just take it a little at a time with her. Her poor husband. He has to live with it daily. I don’t. I’m pretty lucky in that regard.
*** She’s entitled to make her own decisions. So that’s that.**
She is. She makes her own decisions, that’s for sure. I wish I didn’t have to go for the ride with her, and I guess I don’t, but see, there’s that family obligation thing that keeps me tied to her even when I’m worn out. I know she doesn’t want to be *there*, but I swear, nothing I do helps. It’s always up to her, and only up to her. I’m just an annoying fly that she asks for help repeatedly, doesn’t heed anything I say, and she stays miserable…or……exceedingly, overwhelmingly on top of the world!!!!! (Nobody uses exclamation points like my sister, not even me, in this post).
You don't have to do it. But you do it anyway. FWIW, that's what family is like.
When they are in “hypermanic” phase, a bipolar patient can display schizophrenic like behaviour. Not all bipolars get hypermanic however.
IIRC.
Exactly. I don’t have to, but she’s my sister. I’m tied to her whether I want to be or not. Sometimes she’s ok, and sometimes she’s demonic. I never know which sister I’ll have to deal with.
I proceed with caution almost all the time. It’s manipulation. I know that. She doesn’t. Anytime you walk around on eggshells, you’re dealing with a manipulator. I walk on eggshells every time we talk, and it’s even worse in person.
She might give you the clothes off her back, or she might send you to hell. It’s a toss up. You never know which persona she’ll have on any given day. I know she can’t help it, but sometimes, I wish she would just give it a try. I think she likes to be miserable so she can blame me or her husband for her misery. Nothing is ever her fault. Nothing.
I knew a classic bipolar(used to be called manic-depressive). I could see it coming on...person would be working very hard, very talkative, giddy, buying lots of unnecessary stuff, then would get angry, combative, and riled up, want to fight at the slightest provocation, then slowly go into clinical depression...laying in bed for weeks reporting he “had grief in his head”.
Fortunately , lithium, and antidepressants evened his moods out. And he was able to work until retirement. Unfortunately his symptoms in early life hampered any good education or other opportunities.
At least you don’t have to be the husband.
Yes. I’m very glad for that. I wish they would get marriage counseling, but they don’t. They’re not really married, but are common law spouses, about 20 years now. When we are together, I only see her treat him like dirt. We can only mitigate the damage so much. I have no idea why he is still with her. He is a very sweet guy. I don’t get it.
Yikes, now that’s hell. She’s given up
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