[ConservativeInPA]

An atom walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “How are you doing this evening?”
The atom replies, “Not so good. I lost an electron.”
The bartender asks, “Are you sure?”
The atom says, “I’m positive.”

An electron was driving down the highway and was pulled over by the police.
The police officer says, “You realize that you were driving 88 mph.”
The electron exclaims, “Great, now I’m lost.”

[stylin19a]

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
  She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
  I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's how fight started.

[stylin19a]

Joe and his wife are standing in line at the bank.
The guy in front of them puts on a mask and robs the bank.
The mask falls off, the teller sees his face so robber shoots the teller dead.
Robber puts the mask back on and turns around to Joe and asks: "Did you see my face ?"
Joe replies no and nods towards his wife...but she did.

[Clay Moore]

After the Ark landed and the animals had disembarked Noah decided to walk around it and check out how well it had fared after a year at sea. He finds two snakes are still aboard.

“Why are you still here? Didn’t I tell you to Go Forth and Multiply?”

“We can’t, we’re adders.”

[FrozenAssets]

Back during all the covid nonsense I caused a run on toilet paper at the big box store. I coughed and 37 leftists pooped in their pants.

[Albion Wilde]

Ping!

[Nea Wood]

Joe Biden walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful woman. He walks up to her, puts his arm around her, and says, “So— do I come here often?”