An atom walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “How are you doing this evening?”
The atom replies, “Not so good. I lost an electron.”
The bartender asks, “Are you sure?”
The atom says, “I’m positive.”
An electron was driving down the highway and was pulled over by the police.
The police officer says, “You realize that you were driving 88 mph.”
The electron exclaims, “Great, now I’m lost.”
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To: ConservativeInPA
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's how fight started.
72 posted on
06/16/2023 8:25:19 PM PDT by
stylin19a
(Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. -- Lee Trevino)
To: ConservativeInPA
Joe and his wife are standing in line at the bank.
The guy in front of them puts on a mask and robs the bank.
The mask falls off, the teller sees his face so robber shoots the teller dead.
Robber puts the mask back on and turns around to Joe and asks: "Did you see my face ?"
Joe replies no and nods towards his wife...but she did.
73 posted on
06/16/2023 8:26:39 PM PDT by
stylin19a
(Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. -- Lee Trevino)
To: ConservativeInPA
After the Ark landed and the animals had disembarked Noah decided to walk around it and check out how well it had fared after a year at sea. He finds two snakes are still aboard.
“Why are you still here? Didn’t I tell you to Go Forth and Multiply?”
“We can’t, we’re adders.”
74 posted on
06/16/2023 8:49:04 PM PDT by
Clay Moore
(My pistol identifies as a cordless hole punch)
To: ConservativeInPA
Back during all the covid nonsense I caused a run on toilet paper at the big box store. I coughed and 37 leftists pooped in their pants.
To: sodpoodle
80 posted on
06/17/2023 12:07:32 PM PDT by
Albion Wilde
(“There is no good government at all & none possible.”--Mark Twain)
To: ConservativeInPA
Joe Biden walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful woman. He walks up to her, puts his arm around her, and says, “So— do I come here often?”
82 posted on
06/20/2023 3:27:16 PM PDT by
Nea Wood
(Screw diversity. Celebrate excellence. )
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