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Colonoscopies are No Joke
email from friend | 10/24/2020 | unknown

Posted on 10/24/2020 4:30:35 AM PDT by sodpoodle

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To: sodpoodle

Some years back I had one courtesy of the VA. As others have said, the preperation was the worse.

Because of the timing, the “fasting for 48 hours” turned into almost three days. After a while, I didn’t feel THAT hungry.

In the room I was told to lie on my side. They stuck a needle into a vein on the top of my hand. I asked the doc if he wanted me to count down from 10. He said, “Go ahead.”. “10 . . .” OUT LIKE A LIGHT.

I woke up in a room crowded with a bunch of other guys. The orderly said “Welcome to the fart room.” where all the injected air leaked out. The damned place sounded like a merry-go-round calliope was at work.

On the way home we stopped at a casino buffet as I intended to make up for three days fasting. After the first bite, I almost broke out laughing at that piece of food sounded/felt like a bowling ball going down a long flight of stairs.

They showed me some pics and the old gut looked like it had been carpet-bombed. Big time diverticulitis, ergo: no nuts, popcorn, regular corn, etc.

Thank God steak wasn’t included.


41 posted on 10/24/2020 6:32:59 PM PDT by Oatka
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To: deport

Sleep in the bathtub.


42 posted on 10/24/2020 6:38:26 PM PDT by cornfedcowboy
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To: sodpoodle

“You ever serve time, doc??”


43 posted on 10/24/2020 6:45:01 PM PDT by Kenny Bania (Ovaltine? Why not call it Roundtine?)
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To: bayliving
I actually like colonoscopies. I've had three of them and looking forward to my fourth.

The prep is sort of unpleasant but probably good for your body as it completely cleans out your pipes. It's like flushing out your instant hot water heater with a pail of vinegar until all the pipes are squeaky clean.

The procedure itself is a breeze. They give you that stuff that Michael Jackson used to take - something called "twilight sedation" and you are kind of floating around on the ceiling while the doctor does his thing down below. But you really don't remember any of that.

An hour or so later, you wake up and put your clothes back on. Then your wife comes to drive you home. The doctor gives the lecture on how you need to "ease" back into your normal diet and they tell you to start off by eating oatmeal or some such. But not for me! I have my wife take me to a steakhouse where I have a large steak with two sides of buttered broccoli and a couple of tall beers. Maybe a salad as well.

That's the way I like to do it.

44 posted on 10/24/2020 6:54:31 PM PDT by SamAdams76 (Orange Man GOOD!)
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To: cornfedcowboy

Sleep in the bathtub.

***********

LOL.......

Safety first. You never know weather it is just air
or a little moister mixed in.


45 posted on 10/24/2020 6:55:48 PM PDT by deport
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To: Stepan12

That was the point.

Mine was only a tiny fiber optic camera.

Now prostate exams...


46 posted on 10/24/2020 7:00:53 PM PDT by Fledermaus (ONLY A MORON THINKS 6 FEET IS A MAGIC NUMBER!)
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To: sodpoodle

I’ve had 3 of them due to family history. The best is when they knock you out. First time I was just on happy juice - I woke up during the procedure - decided it was a bad idea and went back to sleep. Got knocked out the other 2. Yeah, the prep is nasty, I always guzzle it down as fast as I can then park it on the commode the rest of the evening.


47 posted on 10/24/2020 8:54:12 PM PDT by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite its unfashionability)
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To: eastforker

Just wait till you have to have a biopsy from your prostate, now that is an experience you will never forget.


I think they took 13-15 ‘samples’ from mine. Oddly only two or three ‘stung’. But the insertion of the machine...! The doc kept saying, “Relax” which I found it rather difficult to do...

Colonoscopy was a piece of cake in comparison.


48 posted on 10/26/2020 11:06:03 AM PDT by hanamizu
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