Posted on 03/27/2020 6:26:26 AM PDT by Colonial35
LOL spot on
Those are great. Stealing all of them.
Would make a great stand-up routine. Maybe deep-fake a Henny Youngman video into delivering it.
A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Fr O’Grady after mass.
He says: “So what’s bothering you?”
She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”
The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?”
“Certainly father,” she replied. “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”
Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.”
“Well,” said the big gator, “what have you been eating?”
“Politicians, same as you,” replied the small gator.
“Hmm.....Well, where do you catch them?”
“Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.”
“Same here. Hmm.... How do you catch them?”
“Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the sh*t out of them and eat’em!”
“Same here.” says the big gator. “Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?” “I eat the Democrats” says the little guy.
“Ah!” says the big gator. “I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the sh*t out of a Democrat, there’s nothing left but an a**hole and a briefcase.”
Money sez many of 'em will be named "Corona".
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