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**** FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD *****

Posted on 03/13/2020 6:23:20 AM PDT by Colonial35

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To: Colonial35

TV news reporter:”The CDC says to refrain from handshakes”

Jeffery Dahmer: (stops his blender) “Dang!!!”


21 posted on 03/13/2020 8:09:01 AM PDT by llevrok (Vote while it is still legal)
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To: Colonial35

An Oldie But Goodie! :-)


22 posted on 03/13/2020 8:13:58 AM PDT by left that other site (If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all. (Isaiah 7:9))
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To: Colonial35

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes


23 posted on 03/13/2020 8:20:47 AM PDT by HippyLoggerBiker (Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.)
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To: Colonial35

I found this oldie -

OFST
From Lucky9teen | 04/06/2017 2:48:05 PM PDT read
I regret to inform you that tomorrow will be the last day I’ll be doing the OFST thread.

I have asked for someone else to take over, and so far there have been no takers. I hate to let the thread just die, but responses are minimal and I just don’t have time to maintain it every week.

If you want to be the host going forward, please FReep me a message and I’ll be happy to send you my Ping list.

Thank you,
Lucky


24 posted on 03/13/2020 8:31:52 AM PDT by Dacula
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To: real saxophonist

             

25 posted on 03/13/2020 9:06:09 AM PDT by tomkat (unreconstructed anachronist)
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To: Colonial35

The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Honey,” she said as she pointed the guy out, “that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago.”

Her husband say, “That’s silly, no one celebrates that much!”


26 posted on 03/13/2020 9:16:22 AM PDT by dakine
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To: Colonial35

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes they came to another intersection, the light was red, and again they went right through. This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through it.

She turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know that you ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!” Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh S**t! Am I driving?”


27 posted on 03/13/2020 9:21:25 AM PDT by dakine
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To: Colonial35

bookmark


28 posted on 03/13/2020 9:24:57 AM PDT by TheConservativeParty (MAGA KAG)
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This morning, I took my Wife to the doc to get some fluid drained.
The receptionist in the waiting room sneezed, and I politely said, “Bless you.”

She sneezed again and I politely said, “Coronavirus.”

The room laughed.


29 posted on 03/13/2020 10:10:51 AM PDT by RandallFlagg (Fact: Gun control laws kill innocents.)
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To: Colonial35
Today, the World Health Organization (W.H.O.) advised that Covid-19 could not be transmitted from dogs to human. They further advised dogs no longer need to be quarantined.

In other words, WHO let the dogs out

30 posted on 03/13/2020 10:50:08 AM PDT by llevrok (Vote while it is still legal)
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To: RandallFlagg

Personally, I prefer the Dos Equiis virus.
Or the St. Pauli Girl virus.


31 posted on 03/13/2020 10:54:57 AM PDT by fredhead (Duty, Honor, Country.....Honor, Courage, Commitment)
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To: Colonial35; All
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32 posted on 03/13/2020 10:57:52 AM PDT by musicman (The future is just a collection of successive nows.)
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To: fredhead

There was a black grandma with her grandson at Walmart. I walked up to her and said, “You know the scariest part of this? Everyone is buying all of the toilet paper, but nobody’s buying any toothpaste.”
She laughed.


33 posted on 03/13/2020 11:40:14 AM PDT by RandallFlagg (Fact: Gun control laws kill innocents.)
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To: Colonial35

Please make this a regular thing!
Thank you :)


34 posted on 03/13/2020 4:42:53 PM PDT by DeplorableGirl
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To: llevrok

Dear God please kill me.

:)


35 posted on 03/13/2020 5:14:10 PM PDT by DeplorableGirl
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To: DeplorableGirl

I can arrange that.


36 posted on 10/30/2020 10:19:19 AM PDT by McLovin60
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To: All

Yes, it was important to come back.

And so what? I needed the mustard. You didn’t get it for me, you jerk!

I’m tired of the attitude - just awful!

Mark my words, your smirking makes you seem petty.

So SHUT UP! now!

You’re all crazy!


37 posted on 10/31/2020 6:28:36 PM PDT by Fury (.)
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