Posted on 02/06/2020 4:10:40 PM PST by Eleutheria5
“Cows don’t fart. That’s an environ-mental myth. If they have gas, they could die unless operated on.”
You obviously have never made cow fart bombs!
When I worked at dairy farms for a kosher milk company in the Florida panhandle, my job was to go through a list of cows who had either undergone or were in need of surgery, listed by ear tag, for either Displaced Abdomen syndrome or cesarian births, and make sure they were not in the milking line for our kosher batch, because an animal with life-threatening injuries is not kosher. Displaced Abdomen is caused by an accumulation of gas in one or more of the stomachs. No farts. The stomach gets bloated, moves out of place like a balloon filled with helium, and then the poor girl can’t even take a dump. It’s no laughing matter, and requires surgery to correct.
Cows that are fed grass do not have this problem, and it’s virtually unknown among Jersey cows, which are originally from India and like the warm weather. But Holsteins, which are frail and unused to warm climate in the first place, and are fed a high carbohydrate diet to increase their milk output, get it all too often, and then I had to verify that those on the DA and surgery list were not in our kosher milking.
So no, I never made cow fart bombs.
“She probably melted a glacier that collapsed and killed a family of transgender penguins.”
The fiend! And some of the transgender men were about to lay eggs.
LOL Greta. The world elites needed some youth to grab the attention of the youngsters. Along comes Greta. Garbo was beautiful. Thunberger? No happy meal there. Eye poison, brain poison.
Her daddy pulls her strings, I’ve heard.
So, cows don’t poop, either!
True. I was straining for humorous effect. And loving it.
Not if they have DA. They need an operation. Rush would call it a Poop-out-a-me.
” Displaced Abdomen is caused by an accumulation of gas in one or more of the stomachs. No farts. “
My grandma had a dairy farm and none of her cows ever had surgery.
The problem will be solved by using horses and plows. Do horses fart? Mass starvation caused by eschewing the tractor and the combine will successfully decrease the carbon footprint of the human race. Hooray.
They probably were fed by grazing, weren’t Holsteins, and weren’t stuffed with corn, soy, sorghum and other carbs to boost their milk output. That’s how industrial farming is done these days. The downside is surgeries.
Just remembered what I should have said.
The flatulence should have been from mules. In his autobiography When I Left Home, the blues great Buddy Guy described his youth working on a farm in the South behind a mule pulling a plow. In the hot sun the mule would pass gas every few minutes right in his face with no place to avoid it. He said there is no worse smelling thing in the world.
I would no more feed them baked beans than give seconds to the cowboys in Blazing Saddles. Enough is enough.
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