British Police Push For Duller Knives… Seriously

hotair.com ^ | June 17, 2019 | JAZZ SHAW

[PROCON]

If the British were really serious about stopping knife attacks, surely they should use American liberal logic and just pass a few more new laws forbidding it!

[max americana]

wait what? They ban guns, now criminals start using knives, then they try to semi-ban those..

[ImJustAnotherOkie]

Dull knives? We all know what that means, everyone will be cutting themselves because knives slip and go sideways when they are dull.

UK is stupid. My guess is they will devise a Sharpness Index for knives.

Trained professionals will come around to homes and test your knives for sharpness. If they are too sharp they will be dulled.

[simpson96]

This sounds too stupid to even be fiction.

What abject morons.

[Yo-Yo]

Shades of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders and her call for “safer guns and safer bullets.”

[Vaquero]

Well the easiest way to cut oneself is to use a dull knife

Ask the people up at Sheffield.

[DannyTN]

[Innovative]

To call this insane would be giving them too much credit.

[Vaquero]

Didn’t she have a ‘wankers manifesto’?

[reg45]

They can stop eating steak and roast beef. Unless they run it through a Cuisinart before serving.

[rjsimmon]

They already have duller knives. They are called “spoons”.

[AU72]

They’ll have to outlaw knife sharpeners next.

[moovova]

Time to go old school...I'm sure the English remember these from somewhat recent history.

[Eleutheria5]

Will wet stones and grindstones have to become less effective? What about forges and anvils? Register those?

[Yo-Yo]

Didn’t she have a ‘wankers manifesto’?

From a 1994 NYT article:

The dismissal of Dr. Elders came as some news organizations were preparing to report that at a United Nations conference on AIDS earlier this month, she had condoned the idea of teaching schoolchildren to masturbate as a way of avoiding the spread of the AIDS virus.

[Lurkina.n.Learnin]

Appears the Dull knives are the ones making the rules.

[Eleutheria5]

How about stupider people, so they can’t find their way around such obviously stupid rules. Smack all the smart kids on the head repeatedly, ‘til they get brain damage.

[Billthedrill]

Heck, you couldn’t even slice butter with that baby.

[Migraine]

Can’t call for duller cops; they’re already there.

[ImJustAnotherOkie]

Hamburger would be an improvement.