[piasa]

I have an emotional support parrot training program.
I just trained the first parrot, an Amazon.

Anytime I try to take him somewhere to comfort me, he is trained to yell “Suck it up, buttercup!”

[dragnet2]

They need to create a new airline. Name it, Tard Air, or Kinky Ding Ding Airlines.

They would cater to all those with bobcats, squirrels, hedgehogs, gofers and chimps. At feeding time, just throw down some meal worms and toss a bail of hay down the isle.