[GrandJediMasterYoda]

I would prefer Doug from Upland wrote it.

https://www.youtube.com/user/dougfromupland

[Chewbarkah]

“Poor Lonesome Me” should suffice.

[2ndDivisionVet]

Weave in something about only using one sheet of toilet paper. Oh, that was Sheryl Crow ... nevermind!

[wku man]

How 'bout this one?

Liberal Girl by 10 Pound Test

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

[PGR88]

I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It!

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

This might work - even if the band who recorded it is Australian.

Jet - Cold Hard Bitch

[Snickering Hound]

I can still think of a couple reasons why she's not guilty.

[nikos1121]

Jimmy Buffet would get my vote.

[miss marmelstein]

I suggest that lewd Beyoncé song about Bill/Monica.

[showme_the_Glory]

“Ooooh that smell”

[Gay State Conservative]

If the former Twelfth Lady ever comes to eastern Massachusetts (how can she possibly miss Cambridge?) I’m gonna attend the event and when I get to the desk I’m gonna say “You? I thought that Monica Lewinsky was the author”.

[Mastador1]

What's wrong with the merry go round broke down?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q526mSA3TRs

Or perhaps They're Coming To Take Me Away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-lJZiqZaGA

[Albion Wilde]

I thought there might be hope for this woman when she was dumped by that scumbag Russell Brand. But I see there’s still none.

[NonValueAdded]

Phew, Katy and not Kimberly.

[SECURE AMERICA]

Shame on you Ms Perry.
Why would you do this for a criminal??

[Steve_Seattle]

Katy Perry thinks she’s an intellectual heavyweight; she’s actually a star-struck hillbilly.

[RginTN]

I bet Perry pays as least as possible in taxes like other wealthy leftists.

[Verginius Rufus]

Marty Robbins’ “Devil Woman” would work. Some of the lyrics are already spot on, while some need a bit of tweaking.

[pallmallman]

Hey Katy, you talentless dumbass, why don’t you do a re-cover of “Must be the Season of the Witch”...