Posted on 03/02/2012 9:17:36 AM PST by Short Bus
Well, it wouldn’t be nice to the tarantula, but you could teach Richard and Stanley the tarantella, otherwise known as the spider dance.
Invented in Italy as a possible cure for a spider bite, there is speculation that the dancing is merely an excuse for celebration, in the manner of W.C. Fields carrying a small flask of whiskey to be consumed in the event of snakebite, and as an extra precaution, also carrying a small snake.
One would need an entire chalkboard to diagram the above sentence. I recommend using the snakebite remedy instead.
Good morning, y’all!
Shot of the hand crawling up a corridor.
LISTER: Where is it now?
HOLLY: We lost it.
LISTER: What does Kryten think?
HOLLY: Kryten's off moon-hopping with Rimmer. Radio link's down. I'll keep trying.
The hand crawls into the drive room and obviously starts using LISTER's leg as a ladder. LISTER tenses up. The CAT wanders in.
CAT: So what's the problem? Hey, you OK? You look tense.
LISTER: (Typing) > HELP > Something is crawling up my leg. I think it's a taranshula
CAT: You're playing that dumb adventure game.
LISTER: > It's in my boxers. It's making a nest
CAT: Then buy a potion from Gandalf, the master wizard. That's what I usually do.
LISTER: > I'm SERIOUS.
CAT looks down, then looks up again, a rather tense expression on his face.
CAT: (Typing also) > It has an eye the size of a meatball
LISTER: > Kill it
CAT: > How?
LISTER: > I can't think straight. I've got a taranshula with an eye the size of a meatball setting up home in my joy department. Help me.
CAT: > I'm scared
LISTER: > YOU'RE scared. How d'you think I feel?
CAT: > You haven't SEEN it!!
LISTER: > The lower half of my body has gone numb.
CAT: > That's probably for the best.
LISTER: > It's moving
> Oh *#%^**!!!!
KRYTEN's hand climbs up onto the desk and goes to the computer terminal.
HAND: (Typing) > Hello.
> Kryten in danger. No time to explain. Follow.
The hand crawls off. LISTER and the CAT exchange relieved looks.
I think you have too much time on your hand, nully.
*shudder*
LOL!
Agreed. I really need a job!
I’ve posted a total of 768 threads and 102,845 replies...
There's lots of work that isn't being done around here.
You aren't one of those types who insists on being paid, are you?
LOL!
After years of working for two now defunct start-ups without pay: Yes, I am now!
One and 63,758. I’m so lazy...
This weekend was LDS Conference, and I totally spaced it until the end of the first session, yesterday. *sheesh*
So today, I’ve repented and have watched the first session and I’m ready for the last one, until October.
It was 83 yestrerday with wind around 25, but so far today, the temp is only 61 and the wind is around 30. Ick. The wind makes The Stig sleepy.
Of course, the irony here is that I’m probably older than your mother.....
You are not in your mid-80’s Bob.
You can see it on archived video? I hope to be able to watch some things when I get my smart-phone, whenever that is.
We had Palm Sunday Mass, and then the charismatic prayer group put on a play about how Jesus died so all of us could be forgiven. Brother Roberto was still preaching when we had to leave because Sally is going to the movies with a neighbor, and anyway, I was the only one who understood what he was saying.
Just because I am young at heart does not mean that I am not old.
I can distinctly remember the time before dirt.
I was just in the kitchen chopping an onion, and I heard, “Meowowowowrrrr” behind me. I turned around, and there was Jake looking daggers at me, with Ash looming over his shoulder smiling with her great big teeth. It was like Little Vito and Big Vito showing up to ask for their protection money!
They were disappointed when I offered them a bit of onion ...
Then how did God grow the Garden?
God knows how to make His own dirt.
No, I get it live. We are an hour behind SLC, but there are people on EDT that are two hours later than the Conference. I can send for the DVD’s if you want them. Also the May issue of the Ensign (emphasis on “sign”) will have every talk in print. nothing left out.
Also, byutv.com may run the sessions during the next week. They usually run the ASL versions, too, with closed captions. Of course, it is translated as the speakers talk, so it does go out to all countries in the world.
If nothing else, the talks are great moral lessons.
Actually, since 1980, I think I have missed three Conference weekends; they occur twice a year, in April and October. So I guess I’m not too much of an apostate.
;o]
When I lived and worked in Utah, Conference weekends meant you had to listen even if you weren’t LDS because most businesses tuned in to KSL.
Last session has started. See ya in a bit!
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