Posted on 03/13/2010 1:56:09 PM PST by JoeProBono
Ah....Charlie Chan and Number 1 SON.....miss those old movies...always enjoyed them as a kid.
1. Most mysterious is what mankind does to itself for reasons difficult to understand 2. Mind, like parachute, only function when open 3. Little knowledge sometimes very dangerous possession 4. Favorite pastime of man is fooling himself 5. Optimist only sees doughnut, pessimist sees hole. 6. Sometimes very small cloud hide sun 7. Theories like fingerprints...everybody has them. 8. Theory like mist on eyeglasses - obscures facts.
I have the Mr Moto collection. It is excellent.
There are so many classic movies and shows that nowadays would never be made because they “offend” somebody. Monty Python would not be around, for sure.
.............................
The front stalls of a theatre. It is a first night - a lot of people in dinner jackets etc. About three rows back there is a spare seat. A general rustle of programmes, chocolates and theatrical murmurs. Suddenly a Sioux Indian enters, clad only in loin cloth, wearing war paint and with a single strip of hair in the middle of his head and feather. He carries a bow and a quiver of arrows. He settles into the empty seat. The man next to him shifts uneasily and looks straight ahead. The Indian looks his neighbour up and down a couple of times.
Indian (always speaking with full gestures) Me heap want see play. Me want play start heap soon.
Man next to him nods.
Man Yes well. I think it ... begins in a minute.
Indian Me heap big fan Cicely Courtneidge.
Man (highly embarrassed) Yes ... she’s very good.
Indian She fine actress ... she make interpretation heap subtle ... she heap good diction and timing ... she make part really live for Indian brave.
Man Yes ... yes ... she’s marvelous...
Indian My father - Chief Running Stag - leader of mighty Redfoot tribe - him heap keen on Michael Denison and Dulcie Gray.
Man (unwillingly drawn in) Do you go to the theatre a lot?
Indian When moon high over prairie ... when wolf howl over
mountain, when mighty wind roar through Yellow Valley, we go Leatherhead Rep - block booking, upper circle - whole tribe get it on 3/6d each.
Man That’s very good.
Indian Stage Manager, Stan Wilson, heap good friend Redfoot tribe. After show we go pow-wow speakum with director, Sandy Camp, in snug bar of Bell and Compasses. Him mighty fine director. Him heap famous.
Man Oh - I don’t know him myself.
Indian Him say Leatherhead Rep like do play with Redfoot tribe.
Man Oh that’s good...
Indian We do ‘Dial M for Murder’. Chief Running Elk - him kill buffalo with bare hands, run thousand paces when the sun is high - him play Chief Inspector Hardy - heap good fine actor.
Man You do a lot of acting do you?
Indian Yes. Redfoot tribe live by acting and hunting.
Man You don’t fight any more?
Indian Yes! Redfoot make war! When Chief Yellow Snake was leader, and Mighty Eagle was in land of forefather, we fight Pawnee at Oxbow Crossing. When Pawnee steal our rehearsal copies of ‘Reluctant Debutante’ we kill fifty Pawnee - houses heap full every night. Heap good publicity.
The lights start to dim. Auditorium chatter subsides.
Man (visibly relieved) I think he’s about to start now, thank God for that.
They both look towards stage. The overture starts.
Indian (leaning across) Paleface like eat chocolate? (proffers box)
Man No, thank you very much.
Indian (helping himself) Hmmm - crunchy frog - heap good.
Cut to stage, house manager walks out in front of tabs. He is a very nice young man.
House Manager Ladies and gentlemen. Before the play starts, I would like to apologize to you all, but unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to...
He is suddenly struck in the chest by first one arrow and then another. He crumbles to the ground revealing half a dozen in his back. The air is filled with war-whoops and drum beats and screams. Cut to a working-class kitchen.
Mum (reading newspaper) D’you read that, Edgar?
Dad
(Ian Davidson) What’s that dear?
Mum There’s been another Indian massacre at Dorking Civic Theatre.
Dad About time too dear...
Mum ‘Those who were left alive at the end got their money back’.
Dad That’s what live theatre needs - a few more massacres...
Nothing is showing in your post.
I understand Oland was Swedish and that Toler was from Warrensbug MO. Still Love TOLER over Oland, but will gladly watch any Charlie Chan movie over the crap that is coming out of Hollywood now.
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