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Happy Birthday, Chuck Norris!! [Vanity]
Self ^
| 10 March 2010
| Self
Posted on 03/10/2010 5:30:14 AM PST by ShadowAce
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1
posted on
03/10/2010 5:30:15 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
To: ShadowAce
Chuck doesn’t sleep with a nightlight ‘cause he’s scared of the dark, . . the dark is ascared of him.
2
posted on
03/10/2010 5:32:09 AM PST
by
norraad
("What light!">Blues Brothers)
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the world down.
3
posted on
03/10/2010 5:32:54 AM PST
by
ajr276
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.
4
posted on
03/10/2010 5:34:56 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
5
posted on
03/10/2010 5:35:32 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: ajr276
If you ask him what time is it, it's always 2 second 'til.
"2 seconds to what?
B O O M
2 seconds 'til he roundhouse kicks you in the face!
6
posted on
03/10/2010 5:35:54 AM PST
by
norraad
("What light!">Blues Brothers)
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
7
posted on
03/10/2010 5:35:57 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris doesn’t have birthdays.
Birthdays have Chuck Norris.
8
posted on
03/10/2010 5:40:21 AM PST
by
VanDeKoik
(Iran doesnt have a 2nd admendment. Ya see how that turned out?)
To: ShadowAce
The first draft of Lord of the Rings never got sold.
It had Chuck Norris in it instead of Frodo Baggins and he roundhouse kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
9
posted on
03/10/2010 5:41:59 AM PST
by
norraad
("What light!">Blues Brothers)
To: ShadowAce
The first draft of Lord of the Rings never got sold.
It had Chuck Norris in it instead of Frodo Baggins and he roundhouse kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.
10
posted on
03/10/2010 5:41:59 AM PST
by
norraad
("What light!">Blues Brothers)
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris defines "Love" as "the reluctance to murder".
If you're still alive, it's because Chuck Norris loves you.
To: ShadowAce
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
12
posted on
03/10/2010 5:45:33 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: ShadowAce
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
13
posted on
03/10/2010 5:46:41 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: windcliff
14
posted on
03/10/2010 6:04:06 AM PST
by
stylecouncilor
(What Would Jim Thompson Do?)
To: ShadowAce
15
posted on
03/10/2010 6:12:03 AM PST
by
real saxophonist
(The fact that you play tuba doesn't make you any less lethal. -USMC bandsman in Iraq)
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris is the only human being that does not succumb to the Vulcan neck pinch.
16
posted on
03/10/2010 6:38:47 AM PST
by
fredhead
(Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
To: ShadowAce
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
17
posted on
03/10/2010 6:53:36 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: ShadowAce
The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.
18
posted on
03/10/2010 6:54:34 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
19
posted on
03/10/2010 6:55:36 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: ShadowAce
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
20
posted on
03/10/2010 6:56:40 AM PST
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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