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Are Cats just Useless Dogs?
Conservapedia ^ | 6.26.08 | Conservapedia

Posted on 06/26/2008 12:29:04 PM PDT by rface

Difference between cats and dogs: Dogs think, "Wowee, these people feed me, play with me, give me toys, clean up my mess and make me very happy. They must be gods!" Cats think, "Wowee, these people feed me, play with me, give me toys, clean up my mess and make me very happy. I must be a god!"

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People who have cats really want a dog but haven't got the time to keep one. So they settle for a cat which is vastly inferior because you can't take it for walks, it wont bring anything back to you unless it killed it first, and it will never ever treat you with anything less than complete contempt.

It is well known, in fact that cats ARE dogs, in spite of what those silly, left-wing inspired dictionaries, naturalists, scientists, and pet owners claim. We at Conservapedia face an uphill battle undoing several centuries of leftwing brainwashing that attempts to sell the notion that these domesticated, four-legged mammal carnivores are different animals entirely, and as soon as I find some scientists and naturalists who agree with me, I'll be sure to post them as cites. Honest. Cross my heart and hope to die.

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People who have dogs are emotionally insecure individuals who need the validation of constant, interminable, unremitting, unconditional affection, affection, affection. That is why Walt Whitman wrote:

I think I could turn and live with cats, they are so placid and self-contain’d I stand and look at them long and long. They do not sweat and whine about their condition; They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins; Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago; Not one is respectable or industrious over the whole earth.

Also, dogs slobber.

Well, cats do, too, but at least cats have the courtesy to spread it thinly and discreetly all over their body in a dignified way, where it dries out and becomes invisible except for adding that subtle gloss to their coat.

Unlike our Newfoundland who flings great stringy arcs of slobber all over the house, leaving big dried strings of Newfie spittle on the couch, the television set, and as high as five feet up on our walls.

Cats have many uses of which I'll name just a few.

Cats can be: -Made into violin or racquet strings
-Eaten in fine foreign cuisine
-Taunted for amusement with yarn, feathers and the like
-Dropped upside-down from very high places, only to land rightside-up
-Made into effective scapegoats of superstitious belief
-Killed eight times and emerge unscathed
.
From this short list, surely everyone can begin to see just how useful cats truly are!

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Cats are subtle, devious and very very egocentric. Cats treat humans as if they were other cats, whereas dogs attempt to become human. Cats will come to you to be stroked, but if you don't do it right, or they tire of you, you may find that you are suddenly grabbed by claws or teeth. It's what a cat would do to another cat (on friendly terms) to say 'ok, thats enough'. I have known cats to walk into a room, lie on a chair, and when asked to move pretend to be asleep, then behave as if they have been there for hours. Soem cats will even argue with you visibly and vocally. If you understand cat intelligence, you are in a world of subtlety, arrogance and individual need. It's like having the most determined and self-assured three year old imaginable.....

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TOPICS: Pets/Animals
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To: donna
Photobucket
61 posted on 06/26/2008 1:39:34 PM PDT by BunnySlippers
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To: doorgunner69

Siamese are something else.


62 posted on 06/26/2008 1:41:23 PM PDT by Fire_on_High (Cthulhu 08! Why vote for the Lesser Evil?)
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To: Little Bill

Great looking elk hound.


63 posted on 06/26/2008 1:42:50 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote.)
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To: Cicero

Great looking bloodhound.


64 posted on 06/26/2008 1:43:31 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote.)
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To: libstripper
My big problem with him at night is he tries to push me out of bed.

My rottie, Ursa, starts out this small little bundle of dog at the foot of the bed, but over night tends to melt until she takes up the bottom half of the bed. Sometimes, she sleep-runs with a dream pack, so I'll wake up to the bed shaking and the sound of "mmmMARK mmmMARK mmark...mmmm..."

It's always good for a laugh or two.

65 posted on 06/26/2008 1:45:47 PM PDT by RepoGirl ("Tom, I'm getting dead from you, but I'm not getting Undead..." -- Frasier Crane)
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To: Biggirl

Time to weigh in on an important question....


66 posted on 06/26/2008 1:46:53 PM PDT by editor-surveyor (Jimmy Carter is the skidmark in the panties of American History)
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To: rface

My parrots say that dogs are idiots and cats are serial killers.


67 posted on 06/26/2008 1:47:44 PM PDT by HHFi
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To: freekitty
Dumb as a box of rocks, his joy in life was to bark at all and sundry, tail wagging, while perched on a snow bank in minus zero weather.
68 posted on 06/26/2008 1:48:58 PM PDT by Little Bill (Welcome to the Newly Socialist State of New Hampshire)
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To: rface

Know how to make your cat sound like a dog?

No?

well, you pour gasoline on him and light him and he’ll go “WOOF”

JUST A JOKE PEOPLE!!!!!


69 posted on 06/26/2008 1:49:26 PM PDT by Archytekt
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To: doorgunner69
More BS. My cats love to play fetch.

I had a cat that did as well. The first time she did it, I was stunned. I tried to throw a candy wrapper to the trashcan from a chair and missed. She ran after it and brought it back to me. I repeated, so did she. I would even throw small objects (usually crumpled paper) into things, like baskets, and she would jump into them to retrive it. As the months went on, she would catch them in mid throw--jump up and bat them down with her paw. She was very good at this game.

She also liked water. When we went to take her home, as a kitten, she was in the swimming pool with the kids and a dog. She never went into a pool again, but she used to put her head under the bathroom faucet when it was running. If she could have turned the handles, she would have, because she certainly tried.

She was a very bright cat, though very mouthy.

70 posted on 06/26/2008 1:55:24 PM PDT by Shelayne
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To: rface

Cats don’t piss me off nearly as much as their owners. If their owners followed the law, and trained their cats to either be indoor cats that fear going outside, or obey the leash laws that apply to ALL animals.


71 posted on 06/26/2008 1:57:30 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: rface

Cats aren’t really that superior in their behavior. Cats and dogs are just like kids, if you let them run the house they will run the house, if you enforce the rules then you run the house. Cat people like to let them run the house, so they do. I don’t let the cats run the house, so they don’t.


72 posted on 06/26/2008 2:00:10 PM PDT by boogerbear
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To: rface
Certain cats maybe, but not my old man.
73 posted on 06/26/2008 2:04:31 PM PDT by ßuddaßudd (7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona....)
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To: Slings and Arrows; Lady Jag

Thanks for the ping.

While I’ve been watching my Dad’s house, while he’s in the hosiptal. He has a couple of stray cats living under his porch. Every other day, he’ll ask if I feed “his cats”!!!

BTW, I named them, one if Fluffy, the other is Morse, (he looks like Morse the cat.)


74 posted on 06/26/2008 2:05:08 PM PDT by Springman
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To: rface
"Okay, I'm ready to go out for a run." Photobucket
75 posted on 06/26/2008 2:08:43 PM PDT by RouxStir (No peein' allowed in thee gene pool.)
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To: Springman

Who is Morse the cat?


76 posted on 06/26/2008 2:13:51 PM PDT by Phantom Lord (Fall on to your knees for the Phantom Lord)
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To: freekitty

I found it on the web, but our bloodhound has almost that exact same expression.


77 posted on 06/26/2008 2:16:58 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Springman

What a touching story, “my cats.” Thank you for it.

Hope your dad is doing great.


78 posted on 06/26/2008 2:19:12 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Donate to FR anytime at https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)
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To: Lady Jag
So cute...I love these cat quotes..or whatever!

79 posted on 06/26/2008 2:21:25 PM PDT by jaycee
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To: AxelPaulsenJr

At my house we have a kitty welcome mat. People know better than to ever step on that mat.

Cats are very wise and sensitive creatures. They are wiser than dogs and most people.

Cats let you know when they require your attention, dogs don’t have a clue.

So there, never diss a kitty.

I bought one of my favorite kittys from a district court judge in Northern Indiana. Her hubby said she raises cats because she believed they are better and smarter than anyone that ever comes into her courtroom. Love it.


80 posted on 06/26/2008 2:21:25 PM PDT by dforest (I had almost forgotten that McCain is the nominee. Too bad I was reminded.)
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