My cat not only understands me, we have drinks together.
Posted on 06/26/2008 12:29:04 PM PDT by rface
Groucho Marx: “Outside of a dog, a man’s best is a book. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
BS, my dearly departed Siamese loved his walks. He would get intensely excited when I would get his harness out of the drawer. Though people would slow down passing as in disbelief........
it wont bring anything back to you
More BS. My cats love to play fetch. One loves his catnip mice, the other his tinfoil balls. Bring right back so I can throw them again (and again, and again).
Whoever wrote this doesn't know my siamese cat. He's leash trained, he fetches EVERYTHING I throw....nonstop......and he is more affectionate than any dog I've ever had. He sits when I say "Sit!"
....and he knows that "HEY!!!" means to stop whatever you're doing right now or you're gonna get wet.
...but they're right on one thing....I don't have time for a dog right now. Can't give a dog the proper 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours in the evening walk they deserve......and, after having a dog for 10 years, it's nice to be able to put down a buncha food and go away for a weekend without worries.
The one that looks like she’s sleeping? Tired out from walking?
My cat:
comes when called
purrs nicely
eats about half a cup of dried food every day
drinks from the toilet
uses the cat box in the deepest corner of the garage
doesn’t try to defend me or the house against the mailman
knows to stay away from children with potential weapons in hand
sleeps with his head on his pillow, not mine
talks to me when I arrive and when I leave
appreciates a bit of bacon or cheese
will play fetch all day
I love cats!
No, that is the position she is in when the rest of us go walking. She may make it to the property line - 25’ from the house.
Time for an oldie, but a goodie:
Day number 181
8:00 am - Oh boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh boy! A car ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh boy! A walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh boy! A car ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh boy! The kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh boy! The yard! My Favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh boy! Mom! My Favorite!
Day number 182
8:00 am - Oh boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
9:30 am - Oh boy! A car ride! My Favorite!
9:40 am - Oh boy! A walk! My Favorite!
10:30 am - Oh boy! A car ride! My Favorite!
11:30 am - Oh boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh boy! The kids! My Favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh boy! The yard! My Favorite!
1:30 pm - Ooooooo. Bath. Bummer.
4:00 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My Favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh boy! Dad! My Favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. Well, that and the fact that the dog was the next victim after me.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer”. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Most Siamese cats think they are human, yours thinks he is a dog.
Real men used to keep pictures like that in the filling station back room.
Putting it on a cat thread is an intentional insult to conservative women.
I own both cats and dogs.
Dogs are great when I feel sad, depressed, lonely and insecure. They give unconditional love.
Cats are great when I feel superior, self-righteous, arrogant and conceited. They quickly remind me that I am None of the above.
I have a cat who fetches…. Or rather, the truth is, that she taught Me how to Throw!!
My younger dog, who was supposed to be half Great Dane and half black Lab, grew up to be half Black Lab and half Pit, and weighs about 85 pounds. My big problem with him at night is he tries to push me out of bed.
Not my cat. My fiancee tells me that when I leave the apartment the cat waits by the door for me, and then runs up and jumps on the table to be near me when I get back. I think she has separation anxiety.
That, or the cat and my fiancee are in league with each other to deceive me (not all that out of the question)... :)
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