Posted on 06/01/2008 5:39:33 PM PDT by Soaring Feather
...yup
Hang in there, someday, someday!
Someday the bluest moon will fall
and dinosaurs appear in pink tutus grand
and things with Aardvarks will get out of hand
and only butterflies will make head calls
Space will compress until Pluto is next door
and the sun will set before it rises to be sure
and so I say hang in there its yet all a blur
and the Cubbies may yet do it for evermore!
—Answers to DEAD OR ALIVE
Marty Feldman - DEAD (Heart Attack)
Born: 07/08/1933 Died: 12/02/1982
Rita Moreno - ALIVE
Born: 12/11/1931
George Maharis - ALIVE
Born: 09/01/1928
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified — an American, a Russian, an Australian, and a Mexican.
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answers would determine who among them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, ‘What is the fastest thing you know?’
Steve, the American, replied, ‘A THOUGHT. It comes without any warning; it just pops into your head. A thought is the fastest thing that I know..’
‘That’s very good!’ replied the interviewer.
‘And now you sir?’ he asked Vladimir, the Russian. ‘Hmm.... let me see.
A
blink! It comes and goes without you knowing that it ever happens. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.’ ‘Excellent!’ said the interviewer.
‘The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed’
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.
‘Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, the light in the barn comes on way out across the pasture. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of.’ The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light,’ he said.
Turning to Eleuterio, the Mexican, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, ‘Pues Apter herring da 3 preybeus ansers sir, et’s obeus to me dat the fastest ting is Diarrhea.’
‘WHAT!?’ said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were giggling in their seats...’Oh, I can espleyn sir,’ said Eleuterio.
‘You
see,
sir, da ader day my istumach was peeling Bad and so I run so fast to the bathroom, but bepore I could TINK, BLINK, or TURN ON DE LIGHT, sir, I had alreydi shet in my pants!’
Eleuterio is now the new ‘Greeter’ at Wal-Mart.
Now if he changes his pants and shows me a valid green card I’ll greet him right back!
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You mean he doesn’t have to take a bath?
Call Tomkow!
Sarah had a way with a song!
LEBANON, Pa. (AP) - Rescue crews had to cut apart a portable toilet to rescue a man who got stuck naked inside the potty. Authorities say the 31-year-old man used his cell phone to call 911 on Sunday from inside a portable toilet.
Police say the man had been drinking and had taken off his clothes. Somehow, he immersed himself in the holding tank.
Deputy fire commissioner Chris Miller told WPMT-TV, "I've been on the job in one form or fashion for 21 years, and this is the first port-a-potty rescue I've ever had."
Police charged the man with public drunkenness and creating a health code violation, but they have no idea why he was in the toilet with his clothes off. They said he didn't suffer any serious injuries.
Hoping we can stop the awful skid. :-)
Maybe I am wrong about Dodger hitting NEVER MIND I thought Cubs would sweep the Dodgers LOL!
Well report from World Tribune TOP Guy in Hezollah capture by IDF forces yesterday according to Israelis sources
Great breakfast, Tude..I’d like it for supper.
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