Good morning, Tom! Go Cubbies!
Posted on 06/01/2008 5:39:33 PM PDT by Soaring Feather
Morning, Tom..Thank you! It’s a mild morning here that will turn into a scorcher..I’m going outside and enjoy the brief time I have before it sizzles.
NEW AIRLINE RULES
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B.. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5.
It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy.
Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit,
And fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal.
And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee..
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the
Overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge.
It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter?
What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.
NEW AIRLINE RULES
Probably more true than we know.
Beautiful flowers, enjoy your short respite from the heat. *HUGS*
Behold the Fairy Queens!
Stop that, if you don’t like our topic for the day, stay out of class! LOL
me
Can’t I just learn everybody how to shoot craps?
Only if it will divert your attention from WOO HOOS.
Never happen...I gots one “voice” that keeps an eye out for “WOO HOO”s.
Do you seek the road to Fairyland.....
I'll tell; it's easy, quite.
Wait till a yellow moon gets up
O'er purple seas by night,
And gilds a shining pathway
That is sparkling diamond bright
Then, if no evil power be nigh
To thwart you, out of spite,
And if you know the very words
To cast a spell of might,
You get upon a thistledown,
And, if the breeze is right,
You sail away to Fairyland
Along this track of light.
by
Ernest Thompson Seton
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