Posted on 11/30/2007 7:48:14 PM PST by Soaring Feather
IRISH DECLARE WAR ON SADDAM
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub-that makes 8!"
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr.Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm."
Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to1 and a half million since we last spoke."
"Really?!" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Paddy rang again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultralight with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guidedsurface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."
"Faith and begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr.Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy "We've all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."
Yep that sounds like an Irish declaration of war!
Note how the Irish are so thoughtful about prisoner conditions, true humanitarians! (I’ll drink to that.)
I’ll lift a glass to Irish Humanitarianism!
I’m several ahead of you, Go IRISH!
Irish go (beertendr nodder sip)
Oh my head, feels light, it blinks
I’m out of Irish and into scotch.
Thanks. Now if I can only catch a similar view the next time I'm aboard an Iowa.
Into scotch!
you have THAT MUCH!!!
Oh I’m coming over there, we can go swimming in scotch! (gotta be about as germ-free as one could be!)
Nice scotch, too. I miss that Irish, though.
I miss the Irish too, still at least scotch is made by those other Celts and that counts for something.
Well, you folks still standing. I went out to dinner, roasted onions with roast pork steaks and carrots. I love them, but now I have indigestion.
Excuse me if I belch.
B E L C H !!!
ok
How was dinner otherwise?
That was dinner, plus some Pepsi. She is an elderly lady, forgot to add teh potatoes, beside she was very sick with a cold.
Took it all out of her to make the meal, I did dishes for her.
Your officially a sweetheart! You get the “Kind Person Award’ for the new year
(Last year I got the Some Kind of a Person Award)
Thank ye kind sir, well, no way could I leave her home without doing the dishes, made her smile.
May goodness, I am in esteemed company. ;0)
Well...yeah, (aw shucks, blush)
My image storage site is down so I cannot get you a trophy.
No more, no more its going to my head and there’s not much room there as it is!
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