****THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD****

Labor Day ^

[evets]

silly

[tomkow6]

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 
"Do you need some help?" I asked. 
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" 
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. 
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. 
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

[girlscout]

[girlscout]

[Millee]

Fill 'er up!!

[girlscout]

For everyone who has ever had or given an evaluation just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

[girlscout]

LOL!!!!!!!!!

[monkapotamus]

[monkapotamus]

[girlscout]

Your Daily Reminder

I have a great job ............. I have a great job ............. I have a great job ............. I have a great job ..................

[007girl]

Hahahaaaa!

[monkapotamus]

[CholeraJoe]

[monkapotamus]

[monkapotamus]

[tomkow6]

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. 
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" 
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. 
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

[Millee]

ROFL!!

[monkapotamus]

[monkapotamus]

[tomkow6]