****THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD****

Fourth of July ^

[Lucky9teen]

Do you consider yourself environmentally conscious and responsible??

The next time you are about to set off or buy some cheap fireworks or even attend an outdoor fireworks display, ask yourself.......

Is a few minutes of pyrotechnic entertainment really worth needlessly polluting the environment?

Why Celebrate those Special Occasions by Polluting?

Is poisoning the air and water a patriotic way to recognize the 4th of July??

Is unnecessary air pollution a good way to ring in the New Year??

You might not know that all those colorful explosives used to celebrate special occasions.... (your firecrackers, skyrockets, Roman candles and yes even those so-called "harmless" sparklers)... pose a serious environmental and health danger from heavy metals and other toxic firework fallout.



F the Environmentalists!!!! Give me my fireworks dammit!!!

[Millee]

(Sigh) My kind of doctor! ;o)

[Lucky9teen]

Ever wonder how large fireworks are?


While watching fireworks on the Fourth of July, here’s how to estimate how big those bursts of fire are in the sky:

Count how many seconds of time elapse from the instant you see the light from a firework explosion until you hear the sound. Count out loud, "one thousand one," "one thousand two," ... to estimate the number of seconds. (This is the same "trick" to estimate how far away lightning is.)

[girlscout]

What is Butt Dust?

What, you ask, is "Butt Dust"? Read on and you'll discover the joy in a child's sincere originality. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six ."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN(age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON(age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES(age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

[girlscout]

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-Aggressive Disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're really not my type.
4. Good evening officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight.
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

[fredhead]

One could add Robert E. Lee and Lewis B “Chesty” Puller.

then you’d have 72.

[Lucky9teen]

Ahhhh....nothing like a cool dip in the truck....(huh?)

[Lucky9teen]

[Sonora]

I like your original post breakdown of signers - but, you do know that not all the facts posted are true, right?

[girlscout]

[fredhead]

[girlscout]

President Whitmore's Speech

[agent_delta]

I think I’m gonna cry.

Or maybe call my plastic surgeon.

[girlscout]

Disney-MGM Studios 4th of July Fireworks

[fredhead]

[Tamar1973]

4th of July Cometh!

[Lucky9teen]

Silly me...I usually check snopes for facts....

Facts here...

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

[BenLurkin]