The Official Silliness Thread Salutes Pig Latin (Ethay Officialway Idayfray Illinesssay Eadthray)

snowcrest.net (Pig Latin-English translator) ^ | 1-19-07 | sully777

[Salamander]

[Lucky9teen]

[fredhead]

If you are really having a bad day or someone really aggravates you then play this on loop and lock out the computer

http://www.fetchfido.co.uk/games/crazy-frog/axel-f.htm

[fredhead]

> To My Darling Understanding Husband:
>
> Before you return from your business trip, I want you to know that I had a
> little accident while driving your precious pickup truck. Fortunately,
> there is not too much damage, and I didn't get hurt, so you don't have to
> worry about that.
>
> I was coming home from shopping at the mall, and as I was turning into our
> driveway, the cell phone rang. I answered it, and it was Sylvia. She
> told
> me she was still at the mall, and do you remember that cute little shoe
> store that I love? Well, she said they were having a "storewide"
> clearance
> sale! I got so excited when I heard that, that my foot slipped off the
> brake and I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator pedal! The garage
> door is slightly bent, and the pickup came to a halt when it bumped my
> car.
> Don't worry, your motorcycle and you beer chest did not get damaged at
> all!
>
> I am really sorry this happened, but I know that you are so worried that I
> could have been hurt in this silly little accident, that you will forgive
> me. You are so kind hearted, and you know how much I love and care for
> you.
>
> I will be staying at my mothers for a few days, until the garage door is
> fixed, so you can reach me there. In fact, why don't you stay at that
> hotel
> and play golf with your buddies, until I get this little mess cleaned
> up-----I really don't want you to have to worry about me, or the garage
> door-----the nice young man from the insurance company is helping me make
> it
> all better.
>
> I will call you when it is all fixed up. I just can't wait to hold you in
> my arms again!
> Your loving wife,
> XOXOXOXOXO

[fredhead]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went fishing.

---

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

---

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

---

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

---

---

---

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

---

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

---

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. T hat afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap, The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

[sully777]

[Lucky9teen]

[Salamander]

Thank you.
*Now* the thread is just the way I like it....:)

[Lucky9teen]

[Rightly Biased]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=71770844627024590&q=cowbell


More cowbell

[fredhead]

Here's cowbell!!!

http://pmvfx.com/video/GFR/05-GFR.wmv

[nuke rocketeer]

Whoooffffffffff!!! OK, Load me up!!!

[CJ Wolf]

[girlscout]

UR C*R*A*Z*Y!!!

[nuke rocketeer]

I was even worse as a kid. Since there were no lakes nearby in West Texas towater ski, and we were too poor to own a boat anyway, We would use a 6' 1X6 board and ski in the road ditches after a good rainstorm using a rope tied to the bumper of a pickup.

[nuke rocketeer]

An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant.

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.

"Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"

The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

[nuke rocketeer]

An ancient Babylonian general was once involved in a plot to overthrow the king. His plot included a number of followers in the upper ranks of the army. However, his plot was uncovered, and the king threw him in jail. The king sentenced him to death without a trial.

However, from the jail he was able to secretly contact his followers to arrange to escape, meet his followers, and attack the king's palace at night. So the night before his scheduled execution, the general managed to escape from prison. He fled to a ziggurat several kilometers away, where his followers would meet him. However, the ziggurat was one of several in the area, and he wasn't sure if his cohorts would find the right ziggurat. By this time it was twilight, so he lit a small fire and sent smoke signals to indicate in which structure he was hiding.

However, the king's loyal soldiers saw the smoke coming from the ziggurat, and came to arrest him before he could meet his followers. He was executed later that day.

The moral of the story? WARNING: The searching general has determined that smoking ziggurats can be extremely hazardous to your stealth.

[girlscout]

In south Texas we didn't have a slip 'n slide so we would hose down the driveway and slide down it. If you landed wrong you'd walk away with bumps and bruises but we sure had fun.

[girlscout]

Ho-Jack

[Salamander]

Thanks.

[I have a copy of it stored on Walagata just in case somebody asks "Hey! What's up with the cowbell??"]....;))