Posted on 11/14/2006 2:34:54 PM PST by AUJenn
Most of us know that feeling. You can't make it up.
Then again maybe you can.
I fear a Durham jury will convict these boys with NO evidence at all.
MUST READ!
http://friendsofdukeuniversity.blogspot.com/2006/05/letters-from-friends-2.html#c116353966571190418
At 4:27 PM, November 14, 2006, Joan Collins said...
Profile in Courage
My Meeting With The Finnertys
Amid the darkness of the Duke Lacrosse Case, some true heroes have emerged. Sometimes being a hero means having the courage to carry on to see through what life has handed you. Perhaps Robert Frost said it best when he wrote “The best way out is always through.” The Finnertys are a family of true heroes.
Recently, I received an email: “I am Collin Finnerty’s mother. Would love to meet and talk at some time if you are free.” We arranged to meet for breakfast at a local coffee shop a few days later. We could find one another by our Duke Lacrosse wristbands.
We live in the same village, but I live in a small house on the other side of town. I wondered what I would say and what we might have in common. As I walked into the coffee shop, I remembered a cliché my mother often used “You can’t tell a book by its cover”. What I would learn in the next hour would surprise me.
I noticed that Mary Ellen Finnerty was wearing the same wedding band as I, only her ring was the plainer version without the diamonds. In all the years that I have been married, I had never seen the ring on another hand. What a strange coincidence.
Mary Ellen and Kevin Finnerty have been happily married for 27 years. They have 5 children; 3 sons and 2 daughters. They moved to Garden City three years ago. We talked about the reasons why we had moved here. My reasons were straight forward. My husband and I wanted an easy commute into the city and a good school district. The Finnerty’s reasons for moving to Garden City were very different and not at all what I had expected. They moved to be closer to and to help care for Mrs. Finnerty’s elderly mother who lives in an apartment in town. For several years after they moved, their children continued to attend their old schools so as to not disrupt their education.
Mrs. Finnerty shared with me that her mother is legally blind. I was moved by this as my late mother had suffered from legal blindness since I was a child. We talked about our mothers struggling to read with the help of binocular type eyeglasses and machines. We spoke of the difficulties in managing steps, being unable to drive, being unable able to read the newspaper, to do grocery shopping or pay their own bills. These are all the things people take for granted. When I told Mrs. Finnerty that I had cooked dinners for my family as a child, she nodded understandingly. Mrs. Finnerty is well experienced in caring for others. Her father passed away suddenly when she was just 19. At the time she was attending an out of state college. She transferred to a local university to live with and provide emotional support for her mother. Ironically, Collin now takes a class at same university.
People have commented on Collin’s father, Kevin Finnerty’s, great strength throughout this ordeal. It was his face we first saw sitting in the courtroom next to Collin. This is something a father would do for his son and to spare his wife. It is the father who carries the weight of the Duke Lacrosse case on his shoulders, while the mother carries the pain in her heart. The pressures of Mr. Finnerty’s business responsibilities continue. A mother is the heart of the family and everyone looks to her for her unconditional love, compassion and understanding. Imagine the feeling of helplessness of parents watching their son endure an ordeal such as this because “a lie travels farther than the truth”.
The Finnerty’s attorney has told them that this is a defining moment in their lives. It permeates every facet of their lives. Even their out of state summer vacation plans with the entire family had to be approved. While the ‘fantastic lies’ unravel and the legal work continues, so do their lives. They need to care for younger children. The family meals, homework, book reports, orthodontia appointments, sports and social activities do not stop. Every parent understands how challenging this can be under normal situations, especially for large families. Imagine having to do this under the current circumstances. They must carry on so their family can have a sense of normalcy. Throughout this travesty, the Finnertys have conducted themselves with grace and dignity.
We discussed the grieving process that as a parent you have no choice but to stay strong as your children look to you for strength. Only when you are alone in your room do you have the luxury to grieve. The stages of grief are similar to a death. This is probably best described in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ book “On Death and Dying, where she identified the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Mrs. Finnerty told me that after her father’s death that this book became her Bible.
The Finnertys are now in the acceptance stage. They recognize they have to deal with this situation and go all the way to conclusion to ensure justice is done. What sustains them is their strong faith and knowing their son is innocent. I reminded Mrs. Finnerty that sometimes positive things come out of tragedies, for example Meghan’s law has helped so many children. In this instance, perhaps the justice system will be improved so that no parent has to watch their child suffer this kind of injustice again.
One of the last things we spoke about was the upcoming holidays. Mrs. Finnerty said she did not think she would be sending Christmas cards this year, but Collin thought she should. She asked my opinion. “I agree with Collin. You should continue with your traditions and celebrations. You must not let them take that away from you,” I replied. Mary Ellen then said “Well, I have a photo of the five of them in the pool while on vacation, but what could I write on the cards after Merry Christmas and Happy New Year?” I suggested, “Please keep us in your prayers.”
At Mary Ellen Finnerty's suggestion, a few weeks later I returned back to the same coffee shop to meet Collin. He was soft spoken and modest. He said initially he had planned on going to college in Pennsylvania because he and the lacrosse coach there really got along well. However, at the last minute they found a spot for him on the Duke Lacrosse team. Collin chose Duke because they had a stronger lacrosse team and his older brother was at Duke at the time. Collin
decided to follow his older brother and even chose the same major, history.
Collin was able to complete his second year of courses at Duke and is currently taking one challenging course at a local college. He misses school and is anxious to return, but can not do so until everything is sorted out. Collin currently works for a charitable foundation that does sporting events to raise funds to help seriously ill children, which he said he finds rewarding.
Collin has never met or spoken with DA Mike Nifong. The only time he has ever seen Nifong is in court and they did not make contact. He has also never spoken with President Brodhead.
Collin was interviewed by Ed Bradley of "60 Minutes" in August and found him easy to talk with. The national attention that the case has received has been difficult, but he appreciates the support he has received. So much had been taken away from him, but Collin finds strength is what remains behind, namely the love of his family and the support of his friends, including his girlfriend of three years.
As I watched Collin and his mother interact, I witnessed first hand the love that this mother and son have for one another. These past eight months have only strengthened the bond between them. The old Irish proverb is true: “A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.”
When I asked what message they would you like people to know, Collin and Mary Ellen told me they have the truth on their side and that they can not wait for everyone else to know it. Knowing that people understand this is a hoax and feel the pain these false accusations have caused them helps them get through each day.
“Courage takes many forms. There is physical courage, there is moral courage. Then there is a still higher type of courage - the courage to brave pain, to live with it, to never let others know of it and to still find joy in life; to wake up in the morning with an enthusiasm for the day ahead.” These poignant words of the late sports journalist, Howard Cosell, best describe how the Finnerty family is courageously living each day.
We are all different, but if we open our hearts and look for the common ground, then we will find it. As I drove back to my home across town, I thought of my mother’s words and said to myself “Mom, you were right!”
By Joan Collins
Garden City, NY
No, Newark has to be one notch higher than Durham, because although both have corruption, Newark doesn't have Nifong.
That's a great piece. Collin has taken a real beating in the press at times and I think it's been completely unfair to him. When I saw him on 60 Minutes he seemed shy and vulnerable. I think he's a sweet guy and I hope he gets through this okay. I'm really praying for him and his family because the stress has got to be unimaginable.
Just thought I'd pass on that apparently the "manager" at the infamous Platinum Club will be on Greta's show tonight. I got this from a friend but she's reliable. LOL.
And quite a number of Duke Univ Professors and Administrators should be hanging their heads in shame.
The more of this information that comes out & the more this case can be kept in the public view, the better it may be for the boys. A lot more people are starting to say this whole thing stinks.
Oh oh....here we go again! The more that comes out about this woman, the worse it looks for her and that idiot Nifong.
This case has moved beyond farcical into the criminal. Every time a reasonable person would believe it hit rock bottom, there is more evidence surfacing showing that this has been nothing more than a media circus since day one. Because there was no sexual assault and everything we were told was a pack of lies, there will be more evidence yet to surface to bolster that truth. Nifong is going the distance on this unless a judge stops him, and Duke seems oddly detached and uninterested in truth.
This case will be cited for years in debates (1) to reform criminal justice and clip the wings of prosecutors and (2) to show how a university can foul itself up for stupid reasons. All anyone had to do was remain honest and seek the truth and none of it would have happened. Instead, people pursued nefarious agendas. Sigh.
I feel exactly the same way. I'm like, "What will it be next?"
And it's NEVER favorable to him. Never!
If the boys were black and she was white the case would have been dropped months ago and the justice department would have stepped in.
Thanks for the ping; I was hoping to read in print what I heard on the news today.
Well, here it is. Unreal, huh?
Not to mention the fact that it'd be a little hard to acquire a 'smoking gun' without at least talking to the 'victim'.
Former Co-Worker Talks About Duke LAX Accuser
Eyewitness News Exclusive
WTVD By Tamara Gibbs
(11/14/06 - DURHAM) - A former nightclub manager shares new information about the accuser in the Duke lacrosse rape case. She sheds light on the days before, and after the alleged attack.
Yolanda Haynes a former nightclub manager and a woman who knows the accuser says she originally spoke to the media to defend the accuser, but now she finds herself in the national spotlight. "I know people are saying, 'What is she doing on TV?'" Haynes said. Expecting some criticism for her first interview with Eyewitness News, Yolanda Haynes says she was compelled to speak on behalf of the alleged victim. "I really actually felt sorry for her. I really did." Haynes says reports that the accuser was at an adult entertainment club she managed the day after the alleged assault, and claims that she intended to extort money from Duke lacrosse players just aren't true. "I do know she didn't say anything about no money or that she was trying to sue or anything like that," Hayes explained. Haynes wouldn't call herself a close friend of the alleged victim, but she says she knows her well enough to be concerned. On March 11th, Haynes says the accuser passed out in the dressing room of the Platinum Club. "She's leaned up against the wall naked with her arms sprawled out." Haynes never saw the alleged victim drink that night. She says it took four people to carry the unconscious dancer to her boyfriend's car. She explains that they dropped the dancer on a gravel parking lot that night. "We dropped her a couple of times just because she was getting heavy." Defense motions say a scratch on the alleged victim's knee and a small cut on her heel were found. Did it come from the fall just days before the alleged attack? Haynes says she can't say. "I'd rather not talk to the defense. I'd rather not talk to the prosecution, because of the simple fact I was not there at that house. I can only talk about her performance at the club." Haynes says she's fielded numerous media calls and now she's regretful for coming forward. She wonders if the attempts to help the alleged victim may actually hurt the woman. "I hope the boys if they did it - I hope they get punished. And if they didn't I hope she gets some help," she said. Haynes says none of the attorneys on either side of the case have contacted her. She has not spoken to the police. Calls Eyewitness News made to several attorneys were not returned.
http://abclocal.go.com/wtvd/story?section=triangle&id=4762294
Haynes - -
"I know people are saying, 'What is she doing on TV?'"
"I do know she didn't say anything about no money
or that she was trying to sue or anything like that."
"I really actually felt sorry for her. I really did."
"We dropped her a couple of times just because she was getting heavy."
"I'd rather not talk to the defense. I'd rather not talk to the
prosecution, because of the simple fact I was not there at that
house. I can only talk about her performance at the club."
"I hope the boys if they did it - I hope they get punished. And
if they didn't I hope she gets some help."
Haynes says none of the attorneys on either side of the case
have contacted her. She has not spoken to the police.
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