[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: It's your favorite Rockin' Reverend:

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: Satan has been paralyzed, doo-wop doo-wop

[Rightly Biased]

Redneck Haiku

BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

Big ol' tornado
I done lost my dad-gum house
All that's left are wheels

Looking for main road?
Boy, you can't get there from here
Have to start elsewhere.

OPTIONS
Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability

Deer, cow, horse or dog?
Woods too thick, I cannot tell
What the Hell, I'll shoot

BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again

Recall Earl's last words
"Hold my beer and watch this, Bud"
Trucks not meant to fly

A NEW MOON
Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we'll gig some frogs

EXUBERANCE
Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil

Mosquitoes softball-sized
Food for the bats
And good show with zapper

ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order

DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
you are my cousin

OFFERINGS
Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
To Jimmy Swaggert

DRAMA
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O'Clock

DEPRIVED
In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants 'rassling doll
Mama whups his ass

NO SIGNAL
White noise, buzzing static
Call Earl; satellite dish
needs new descrambler

IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino

GATHERING
In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man

PRIDE
Grinning, he displays
The nine hundred beer cans
Filling pickup bed

Wheelless, lifeless, lawned,
Chevy up on cinder blocks--
Monument or task?

[LongElegantLegs]

Good morning, all you silly people.

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing:

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing:KISS's little brother

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing:Genuine BRITSH pig-rock!

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing:Crank up your acid dose!

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing:Heavy Drum Beat!

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: Oh NO I don't believe it!

[CSM]

Woohooo, I'm late but in dire need of silliness! Let's roll!

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: For all you "special" women out there...

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: We don't discriminate, here at OFST-radio...

[JimWforBush]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry. No pets allowed."

The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.

The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?"

The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years!"

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: Back by popular demand:

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: You heard it here first

I wouldn't dream of it...

[flutters]

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply.

The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor says to the thrid man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man.

"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

---

Fifty-one years ago Herman James, a West Virginia Mountain Man was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in Basic, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued him a toothbrush. That afternoon the dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day the Army issued him a jock strap.

The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: The murky music of:

The horse sings too...

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: The plaid stylings of:

[Izzy Dunne]

Now playing: The glittery stylings of:

No pretense here...