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Vanity--Having a problem with my daughter's school--Need help!
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Posted on 04/22/2005 3:33:56 PM PDT by GeorgiaBushie

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To: GeorgiaBushie

If there is teacher discontinuity then my first stop is the Principal's office. Demand the written rules covering the situation. If this is a dry hole then you gotta fire up the dist supt. and/or the school board. Make contact with the other involved parents---a group front is always best---if you're not as big as I am. good luck


41 posted on 04/22/2005 4:04:46 PM PDT by cherokee1
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To: GeorgiaBushie

IMO, you need to consider a two-track strategy here: one with respect to your parental guidance and relationship with Ashley; the other one deals with the "adults".

As for the first track (dealing with Ashley), she is learning an adult lesson early on that life isn't fair. She needs to understand that a 69 is not acceptable; irrespective of whether it's fair or not. Whether it is her fault or not is irrelevant - she needs to understand that she, and only she, is the one that suffers from a 69, and as a result it is incumbent on her to do whatever is necessary to get to her appropriate level of mathematical achievement. From her perspective, she has a job to do, and she needs to do it.

As for the 2nd part, you need to rattle some cages - without Ashley's involvement. I can't stress enough how important it is for her to not perceive you as her rescuer - or for her to get a sense that you are attempting to undermine the teacher's and the school's absolute authority from her perspective.

I suggest a sit-down with the teacher(s) and principal, and the other parents - without the kids. ALL of the parents need to attend - and in proper business dress. This is at least as serious as the most important business transaction we make. And there is strength in numbers. But be subtle, and use your collective strength wisely. Before you all go into outrage mode, listen to what all of the school participants have to say. Let them lay it out logically without interruption; that leads them to be forced to result in a logical conclusion. If you jump into a back and forth argument, it becomes illogical, impulsive, reflexive, and defensive. You may wish to have a meeting with the other parents beforehand (who knows, you might make a few new friends along the way).

Last of all, do not threaten. Instead, be prepared going in. Have a consensus end-game; a mutually agreeable outcome that the parents are willing to accept going into the meeting. Conversely, establish a minimum threshold that you collectively will accept, and be willing to take it to the School Board if it is not achieved. Do NOT back down - either with the knuckleheads at the school, or with your insistence that Ashley comply with the expected standards.

This is a wonderful opportunity for you and Ashley to learn and grow closer together. Good luck, and God bless.


42 posted on 04/22/2005 4:06:49 PM PDT by soxfan
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To: cherokee1

Thank you! My daughter and I are trying to get in touch with the other parents to see if we can do something as a group.


43 posted on 04/22/2005 4:07:03 PM PDT by GeorgiaBushie (Undocumented freeper)
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To: GeorgiaBushie

Do not worry about it, and make sure she knows that this happens to lots of kids for one reason or another, and colleges do not look at any one grade in one subject in a given year.

Her performance on the SATs, or the College Boards, and her overall high school record matter much more. You might suggest to her that with a career goal like this in mind, deliberately planning to go to summer school to make sure she is as well prepared as possible could be a great idea!

Find the best teachers/summer school you can, and celebrate the fact that she is eager to learn. The most important thing to consider is that she may need to brush up to make sure she didn't miss anything due to the teacher changeover.

Remind her that schools are not perfect, and neither are teachers. Learning on her own is the best strategy of all. I wonder is she might find some teachers in summer school who really love to teach, and who would be delighed to have an eager learner in class.


44 posted on 04/22/2005 4:10:29 PM PDT by jacquej
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To: GeorgiaBushie

I feel so bad!!! I had a similar situation happen to me in college (lost final that I needed to retake). Here's what I'd do.

A. I'd get documentation of all the coursework, etc. your daughter has done over the past year (any old tests, quizzes, homework, etc. and any record of grades that your daughter may have kept for her own benefit).

B. Have your daughter go talk with the guidance counselor; perhaps he/she could advice her (and you) on the best way to approach the situation and hopefully help her feel better about the situation.

C. Go in and talk to the teacher with your daughter. Bring any tests, etc. you have to support your claim. If the teacher still insists that your daughter retake the tests, insist that the teacher give her enough time and support to do so. Also insist that your daughter's final grade be changed after the tests and that this whole debacle doesn't affect her permanent record.


45 posted on 04/22/2005 4:10:37 PM PDT by Accygirl
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To: GeorgiaBushie

You actually named your kid Ashley?


46 posted on 04/22/2005 4:13:07 PM PDT by RunningJoke
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To: GeorgiaBushie

Do not worry about it, and make sure she knows that this happens to lots of kids for one reason or another, and colleges do not look at any one grade in one subject in a given year.

Her performance on the SATs, or the College Boards, and her overall high school record matter much more. You might suggest to her that with a career goal like this in mind, deliberately planning to go to summer school to make sure she is as well prepared as possible could be a great idea!

Find the best teachers/summer school you can, and celebrate the fact that she is eager to learn. The most important thing to consider is that she may need to brush up to make sure she didn't miss anything due to the teacher changeover.

Remind her that schools are not perfect, and neither are teachers. Learning on her own is the best strategy of all. I wonder is she might find some teachers in summer school who really love to teach, and who would be delighed to have an eager learner in class.

I really would discourage you and Ashley from developing an "attitude" toward the school. This will do her a lot more harm in the long run than a bad grade in Algebra. Life is long, you know. Take a philosophical view, and encourage Ashley to do so too.


47 posted on 04/22/2005 4:14:55 PM PDT by jacquej
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To: eastforker

Dear Lord, I sincerely hope you are being SARCASTIC! What a way to greet people.


48 posted on 04/22/2005 4:16:05 PM PDT by madison10
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To: GeorgiaBushie

To my mind the 69 equates to a false accusation !!!

I would demand that my child be allowed to face her accuser via
sitting in the principal's office and taking the same or similar test,
therefore to prove the utter and deliberate falseness of the charge
(69) !!!


49 posted on 04/22/2005 4:30:35 PM PDT by GeekDejure ( LOL = Liberals Obey Lucifer !!! -- Impeach Greer !!!.)
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I would just head up the chain to the school board and then work up to district etc. If nothing works go to the press.


50 posted on 04/22/2005 4:39:00 PM PDT by Aleighanne
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To: GeorgiaBushie

Get together with any other parents whose children have been affected and hire an attorney, a GOOD attorney, who does this kind of litigation, and start legal action immediately.

It is all these numbskulls will listen to.

Sue the baskets!


51 posted on 04/22/2005 4:42:12 PM PDT by jocon307 (CVCVMELLA CAFEARIA CLAVSA EST)
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To: soxfan
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

I started this thread hoping to find a few educators or people in the know that would help me be more "effective" when given the opportunity to present our grievance.

I do understand the part about not rescuing her or subordinating the administration. It seems that her newest teacher is a victim as well because she is probably a very good teacher and, unfortunately, the one with the gradebook.

Also learned that Ashley does not alert me to possible problems. She had an 80 on her last progress report because the substitute could not make heads or tails of the grade book and gave questionable students an 80. Some were happy with a gift and some were a little upset because they should have been higher. Ashley at the time reasoned that an 80 would be easy to overcome and just let it go.

52 posted on 04/22/2005 4:42:25 PM PDT by GeorgiaBushie (Undocumented freeper)
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To: GeorgiaBushie

Try the principal but be prepared to go over the principal's head and to the district superintendent, The Superintendent & not one of the assistants.


53 posted on 04/22/2005 4:47:39 PM PDT by elli1
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To: GeorgiaBushie

You have mail.


54 posted on 04/22/2005 4:58:30 PM PDT by Crawdad (I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no class.)
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To: crazyhorse691

exactly take the former teachers approach - you have to take the reasonable approach first because you want to make sure the school doesn't then take it out on your kid later.....now I know me, when I'm upset I can't verbalize as well so I wonder if writing down what you have to say first isn't a good idea......have you spoken to the current teacher at all? have you tried a note or something, but yes if she won't talk to you, go to the principal next and I agree if Dad is around, bring Dad too if possible, if there is no Dad around or he can't make it, maybe another mother of the kids affected?

but don't get too worked up yet, you may find after one meeting with the teacher or principal the situation may be easily fixable....just stay calm and say this is what my daughter is telling me, can you explain this to me why this mark is what it is, (ie you give them a chance to offer their side of the story first) then if you think they are being unfair, say so and offer suggestions like isnt' there some way to verify these test scores or some way to make up for it, because indeed the students shouldn't be penalized for teacher mistakes and adminstrative goof ups.....

I like the idea of getting all the parents of the kids affected, strength in numbers, proof that something is wrong here, so long as you all act as a reasonable group at first

does the former teacher have a comment on that or would going as a group at first make the administration dig in its heels and would 5 separate sets of parents complaining about the same problem be more effective....

only if there is no action join forces......

I think you also have to teach your children not to put up with crap like this

oh and this is a very lawyerly like thing to do, each time you meet with the Principal and/or the teacheror whoever, you should write a letter summarizing what was discussed and what course of action was promised and indicate a date to follow up and send it to them, make it very matter of fact, unemotional - this alone may scare them, LOL

like I am writing to confirm our appointment on this date where we discussed my concerns with the grading of my daughter's work in Algebra II. blah blah blah

You indicated at the end of our meeting that you were going to speak to all the teachers involved and see if we couldn't rectify the situation.

You indicated that you would get back to me in one week's time and I look forward to hearing from you then.

If you need any further information at all, you can email me or call me and you have my permssion to speak to my daughter.

I wish to thank you for meeting with me, patiently listening to my concerns and for all your co-operation. [Teachers eat that stuff up eh?]

blah blah blah

if you felt you were talking to a brick wall and getting no co-operation, put a cc. the letter to your lawyer and the School Board at the bottom of the letter before you mail it to the teacher ie. Mr. Joe Blow, Barrister & Solicitor
I don't know how you Yanks address lawyers.....LOL and
Mary Doe, Trustee, School Board and

if they co-operate at first but then they don't later, you have a record of what was said and promised if you need to go further up the chain


55 posted on 04/22/2005 5:04:20 PM PDT by littlelilac
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To: eastforker

She didnt join today?


56 posted on 04/22/2005 5:04:24 PM PDT by el_doctor2
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To: littlelilac

oh just in case you aren't familiar, I'm a former lawyer so I sometimes assume everyone knows this stuff.....

cc is a Latin term abbreviated meaning basically 'sending copy of this letter to"

you put it at the end of the letter after your signature, left margin

cc. Mr. Joe Blow,
Attorney at Law

Mrs. Mary Doe
Trustee,
School Board

you'd be amazed what a little cc can do for you.....

but again I'd only do it IF you felt you were getting nowhere despite being reasonable.......

if the teacher/principal seems willing to be geniunely co-operative, I wouldn't do it until such time as the co-operation stops......



57 posted on 04/22/2005 5:13:35 PM PDT by littlelilac
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To: GeorgiaBushie

When there have been problems at my kids' schools, I go straight to the school and DEMAND to speak to the principal. I've had to threaten lawsuits before, it never had to go any further than that. Good luck, I know how idiotic some of these "school" people are.


58 posted on 04/22/2005 6:02:54 PM PDT by codyjacksmom (Yes, my dogs are people too.)
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To: jacquej

I think I agree with you.

The big truth this generation of kids cannot face is that life is not fair, not equal, bosses aren't sympathetic, everyone gets screwed now and then.

I think learning to get screwed and come back is almost as important as an A student learning to make a D.

But I guess if I were the mother I would be fighting it too.

But hire a lawyer? My goodness, that seems juvenile beyond telling.


59 posted on 04/22/2005 6:25:23 PM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: GeorgiaBushie
Isn't ironic how these things can cause such worry? remember being just as sick over a missing banner for some school play. My son's kindergarten class. Silly me.

The most obvious problem that Ashley seems to be having is the shuffling of teachers. If she was ahead in the class in mid-January, and then was shuffled around between three different teachers (all subs) and the latest one, brand new to the school, is making absolute rules, then why should you or your daughter suffer?

The school belongs to you. You pay for it, and you pay for those teachers and administrators. Hold their feet to the fire and make them flex your daughter's Algebra requirement into her next year. The lack of continuity in the teaching process is their failing, not your daughter's, and so they really don't have much room to argue. Make the school accountable for the 90 to 69 drop in less than four months. Frankly, I'd be in that Principal's office, screaming blue murder if it happened to my kid.

This post is a little rambling too, but I wanted to let you know that I had to attend summer school for 9th grade Algebra and 10th grade Geometry. Very bitter memories, I can assure you. Please don't let the incompetence of your school district take a beautiful summer away from a young girl.
60 posted on 04/22/2005 6:42:49 PM PDT by ishabibble
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