Posted on 12/11/2004 5:37:20 AM PST by RobFromGa
I am glad that you found this thread useful, keep in touch!
FReegards, RobFromGa
Congratulations Rob ~ I'm a friend of Bill W ~ I've been clean and sober since 10-26-75 after 30 years of drinking.
Congratulations and many of us here will help if you have a question or just want to talk. I check my computer all day, just ping me! God Be With You and Me.
Wow! I don't have any alcoholics in my immediate family, which is another reason I gave myself for continuing to drink. That along with the "wine is good for the heart" saying. But I scares me to realize that I'm drinking every weekend, and maybe some Thursday's, and maybe even a Wednesday if I have a really good reason. That along with the fact that I do tend to hide it, and I do have a high tolerance. I don't really go overboard, but then I always have an excuse for not stopping. I really should simply stop and I realize I always have another excuse to drink again. It's scary and I need reminders like these. Thanks for sharing.
Recovering alcoholics can take grape seed extract and things like resveritrol and green tea to get their antioxidants. Drink grape juice 100% pure. It's the same thing almost.
As long as you're not a friend of Dorothy ;-)
; < )
bump
Ping
You would think we would know better, but sometimes I guess we are determined to learn the hard way. My mom and father divorced when I was very young. I only have one vague memory of him. She remarried soon after to my (step)dad. My father and the divorce was never talked about...it was like he ceased to exist. Don't get me wrong I love my Dad to pieces, but I always had the desire to know my father. One of the only facts that I knew about him was that he drank...but he was jovial when he did...or he'd disappear for days.
When I married my ex, I knew he had a drinking problem. I was just too stupid to realize the ramifications. My (our) daughter was and continues to be the only wonderful thing that happened. I try to be as honest with her as possible, telling her only age appropriate things hoping that she will learn from my mistakes.
I guess I went the other end of the spectrum than my Mom did. She didn't say a word about him being an alcoholic, and I've told my daughter, that too much drinking causes people to have "fuzzy" brains.
I pray that she is strong enough to break the cycle that family members of alcoholics seem destined to make.
I want to express my gratitude to you for starting this thread.
I haven't been to a meeting in ages and this thread has really brought home to me how much I miss listening and talking to other alcoholics.
I think I've been isolating myself and need to get to a meeting.
There's a young fellow I know that recently got out of rehab, I'm going to suggest going together.
Talking and listening to you all has also helped motivate me to make a change in my work.
I drive as an independent broker for a couple of companies. One of the companies delivers beer and booze. I've never felt entirely comfortable doing this. A lot of the customers have obvious problems with drink. When I first started the job, a couple of years ago, I was climbing out debt and had no savings. I needed work and couldn't afford being too picky. I spoke with someone about my misgivings and he suggested that I might be able to do some good if the occasion arose.
I do get offers to stay and have a beer quite often when I deliver. I always say no thanks and mention how long it has been since I had my last beer. Once in a while the person responds saying how they wish they could do that and it gives me an opportunity to let them know a little of my story and how AA helped me get and stay sober.
But in spite of these occasions I still sense it isn't right for me as a recovering alcoholic to be helping other alcoholics get drunk. Financially I've been able to save enough to give me a small cushion so I can't use that rationalization any longer.
I've been easing myself out of that type of work but still leaving the delivery company the option of calling me when they're short a driver. I have come to see over the past few days that I need to make a clean break. I'm going to write the owners a letter letting them know what my decision is and the reasons for it. One of them knows already that I've been to AA so hopefully they'll understand.
There's other regular courier work I can do for them. I'd rather be an employee of theirs (or not) and do what is right for my spiritual progress than take a chance on sliding and end up being a customer of theirs.
Well, I didn't learn, because I also married an alcoholic too, even his mother warned me before we were married. Just before we divorced,15 years after we married, his drinking had advanced to where he was only making it home from work every two or three days and that was, like the old saying goes, the straw that broke the camel's (mine) back.
Where I am going with this is that my boy's were 13 & 6 and were quite aware of the problem without my telling them. Yet, only one, the youngest, had a problem with alcohol.
Thankfully he realized this himself and stopped drinking 3 years ago. When he first told me about it I ask he what finally made him quit. He said he was afraid his own son would see his weakness like he saw his dads, and he wouldn't want to embarrass he son like his dad did him.
Sometimes children are more aware of what is happening around them then we parents realize.
Thank you for sharing your story, I can certainly understand the idea that you want to make changes in your work that are more in-line with your sobriety.
Re: your letter to your employer explaining your decision, I would caution you to be short and sweet. There is nothing inherently wrong with the alcohol you deliver, and you don't want to give the impression that you are "superior" or too good to be involved in such a morally repugnant business as delivering the demon drink.
Just remember you are doing this to protect yourself from your defect.
You probably would have said it just the right way without my unsolicited advice, but I thought it was a good time to amplify my point earlier that we cannot expect other people to change their behavior to fit our new shape, we must either add some new pieces to fill in the gaps, or find a new puzzle to be part of.
Dorothy is the queen of camel toes. :)
hehe!
Please add me to your ping list too. Just found this thread. Glad to see so many other Friends of Bill W. are also freepers! I've been a grateful member of AA for just about 30 years now...the best thing that ever happened to me.
I hope you are on day four!
I sure am. Going to a meeting tonight. Thanks for asking!
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