I'M MAD AS HELL

[KINGEDWARDIII]

And I'm not sure if I can take it anymore!!

[KINGEDWARDIII]

Wow, you completely pulled a Rather. You left out the beginning of the sentence which referred to dropping her from the health insurance. Not just dropping her all together as a daughter and loved-one as I think you are implying. Old Dan would be proud Man what in the hell has happened to FR?

[Hemingway's Ghost]

Phsyco?

No, it's spelled physco.

[KINGEDWARDIII]

In all seriousness, your advice makes sense. Especially the part about a hand written letter. Thank you.

[sausageseller]

Why did you not post that only attorneys should reply.
If you don't want others remarks DO NOT POST!

[Aquamarine]

Stand your ground and tell her that you will not finance an immoral lifestyle. If she wants the tuition money it's simple, she needs to send her boyfriend packing. Stress to her that he is using her and she should look for a man who would cherish her enough to propose marriage.
Make sure she knows it's not about the money, it's about her future and her soul, that you're standing up for principles out of your love for her.

[KINGEDWARDIII]

Your are a moron. No wonder you have a menial job like selling sausage. It's the only thing your qulified to do.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND? MISTER BIG LETTERS.

[KINGEDWARDIII]

Thank you for your kind words and understanding. I feel kind of sappy saying it, but I guess it's what I wanted to hear.

[bonfire]

How is paying her tuition supporting her lifesyle? If we cut off our children every time they made a mistake, we'd all be rich. Doesn't sound like KingEd. has been much of a father....dumped her mother which in HER eyes means he dumped her. Playing holier than thou at this stage of the game is pointless and will only push her farther away.

guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

[Aquamarine]

It's not easy to do the right thing. Just make sure she understands that it's not about the money, it's about her and your love for her. She'll respect you for it one day.

[January24th]

but then I wouldn't be able to claim her as a dependent on my taxes. When I talk to her it's as if I'm nothing more than an inconvienance to getting her cash.

And some folks say irony is dead...

[sausageseller]

NANANASNANANANA!

Your the one posting stupid vanities. Wanting congratulations for trying to do what "YOU" think is right. I think your ex is right . A restraining order is needed. You are unbalanced!

[Quix]

My heart goes out to you.

I read you as very hurt and very angry. I don't read you with a lot of the horrid chinks that are being laid onto you.

You may well have some deficits in emotional IQ but not necessarily.

It sounds clearly like you are not interested in contributing to the delinquency of an adult before God. Don't blame you for that, at all.

Sounds like the frayed, inadequate relationships go a long way back, though. The time to really influence her about shacking up is long, long past and needed to have effectively started at about age 6 months or so in terms of bonding, healthy affection and leading daily along the way in examples of Godly values as well as discussing such daily.

Given lack of an effective time machine to fix the past . . . I'd sure want the mind of God on the matter. Seems reasonable to me to stop the support. AT this point, sounds like you will likely need an atny to do that and I'd pick one wisely. Short of that, I guess I'd want to argue my case effectively without the anger and I'm not sure you can do that.

We know that in our end times era, children will be acting worse and worse in favor of satanic values. I hate the concept of it . . . the opposite of how I like to live. But, I think, many will have to cut their losses; turn their backs on the past and the destructive folks in their lives and go on with God. I probably would continue to pray unless and until God said to stop as it was futile. If there was any hope, I'd occasionally make overtures. But it sounds like it's well past and not worth much such.

What a wrenching experience. Prayers for your way through it. God's best growth and comfort to you,

[fritzz]

First of all Just STOP trying to impose your moral values on your daughter by blackmail. It won't work. 19 years of age is a little late to teach moral values.

Second. There are two options with her roommate. They get married and he is your son in law or they break up and it was short and sweet relationship. Either way you are on a losing track.

I've been here. You have already screwed up and caused hurt which neither can repair without some work. When you push anyone into a corner, they will come out fighting. You want a wimp for a daughter?

Think ahead for heck sakes. Down the line is she going to have an education that you can be proud of. If she gets sick and has a hospital bill no one can afford, are you going to be happy with your decision?

Lastly, are you upset at her or are you looking for a way out of this expense. You are not wrong for feeling either way if your relationship supports your feelings. Just ask your self, why.

[Gingersnap]

Well, you've gotten a lot of advice!

Do figure out what you are legally obligated to do. It sounds as though you have no legal obligation at this point as part of your divorce and custody agreement but check it out with a family law attorney.

My best friend is going through a similar situation. Daughter went to college, took up with a loser, had an abortion, kept the next child, lived off and on with loser, dropped in and out of college.

Her parents now wish that they had taken a harder line much earlier on. They believe that had they withdrawn tuition and financial aid when she first moved in the loser, that she would have made different choices.

You are under no moral obligation to provide a college education when your daughter doesn't abide by your "rules" (or at least displays some discretion about it). Many of us put ourselves through college with no ill effects.

If you do withhold tuition, please don't claim her as a dependent since that is untrue. Why is she on your insurance anyway? Most students can get ultra low cost health insurance through the school.

Good luck and rest assured that whatever she thinks of you now, she will smarten up considerably in the next 10 years.

[Coop]

Well, you've gotten a lot of advice!

Not really. Just from you and one other who confused me with the angry papa. :-)

[Coop]

Man what in the hell has happened to FR?

Got tired of throwing around individual insults, huh? Now you're just throwing barbs at the entire forum? Since you're looking for helpful advice, here's some:

Read this book. Cover to cover!

How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie

[Admin Moderator]

Knock off the personal attacks.

[DTogo]

Sounds like an empty threat that would never materialize anyway - where would she get the money to pay for her lawyer without your $$? Remember the prodigal son (daughter in your case): cut her off (financially) and ignore her calls until she comes to her senses. If she doesn't, that's her choice, too. Tough love, but she'll never learn if you keep giving in the her demands.

[KINGEDWARDIII]

Your respopnse was very Archie Bunkerish and not well thought out. Think before you hit the keys. In your case think along time.