Great Quotes To Start The New Year

Multiple

[Conspiracy Guy]

Please see #12.

[bushbiker]

My children, you should know something, I'm packing.
-Jesus ( South Park )

[Conspiracy Guy]

"Salty Chocolate Balls, put them in your....." Chef South Park

[bushbiker]

I could do this all day, but don't want to get banned. Try this site for some great lines.

http://www.spscriptorium.com/ScriptGuideIndex.htm

[Conspiracy Guy]

I haven't watched South Park since the first 2 seasons. We won't get banned.

[HangThemHigh]

A few of my favorites...

The worst thing I've heard about the Kennedy's is that they're very smart, but when they get horny, their penis takes over and their brain closes.
- Florence Orbach, 79, shortly before being excused from a panel of prospective jurors in the Palm Beach rape trial of William Kennedy Smith. (I've tried to validate this, it may be an urban legend).

They are just jealous because they don't have three wise men and a virgin in the whole organization.
- Mayor Vincent J. Ciarci, on the ACLU's suit to have a city nativity scene removed.

Good. Tell him he's Wayne Gretzky.
- Ted Green, Edmonton Oilers coach, when told that center Shaun Van Allen had suffered a concussion and didn't know who he was.

The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.
- Alexander Jablokov, 'The Place of no Shadows'

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
- H.L.Mencken, 1936

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
- Last words of Pancho Villa

[Ranxerox]

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." -- Winston Churchill

"A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education." -- George Bernard Shaw

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." -- Robert Frost

"A lady is always grateful for a sincere compliment, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it." -- Mark Twain


"A man must properly pay the fiddler. In my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra had to be subsidized." -- John Barrymore

"A paranoid is a man who knows a little of what's going on." --William Burroughs

"A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are." -- Victor Lownes

"A witty saying proves nothing." -- Voltaire

"A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up." -- Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

"Age is a high price to pay for maturity." -- Tom Stoppard

"Ah! How sweet coffee tastes! Lovelier than a thousand kisses, sweeter far than muscatel wine! I must have coffee..." -- J. S. Bach

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damn well please." -- P.J. O'Rourke

"Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States." -- J. Bartlett Brebner

"And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress." -- Basil Fawlty

"As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest blabbers." -- Plato

"Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to." -- Douglas Adams

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." -- Mark Twain

"Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare." -- Blair Houghton

"Don't be so humble, you're not that great." -- Golda Meir

"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped." --Groucho Marx

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats." --H. L. Mencken

I asked one of the members of Parliament whether a majority of the House could legitimize murder. He said, No. I asked him if it could sanctify robbery. He thought not. But I could not make him see that, if these things be always wrong, and not to be made right by the decisions of statesmen, then similarly all things must be always right or always wrong, apart from the authority of the law; and if the right and wrong of the law is not in harmony with this intrinsic right and wrong, the law itself is criminal. (Herbert Spencer: From The Proper Sphere Of Government

It is the invariable habit of bureaucracies, at all times and everywhere, to assume...that every citizen is a criminal. Their one apparent purpose, pursued with a relentless and furious diligence, is to convert the assumption into a fact. They hunt endlessly for proofs, and, when proofs are lacking, for mere suspicions. The moment they become aware of a definite citizen, John Doe, seeking what is his right under the law, they begin searching feverishly for an excuse for withholding it from him. - H L Mencken

"Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It's not an endlessly expanding list of rights - the 'right' to education, the 'right' to health care, the 'right' to food and housing. That's not freedom, that's dependency. Those aren't rights, those are the rations of slavery - hay and a barn for human cattle." -- P.J. O'Rourke