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From the article:

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So as you can easily imagine, people are a wee bit jittery over all the intersecting eclipses, great comets, and geographic coincidences. Still, one may easily chalk the 1811 earthquakes, comets, and eclipses up to natural coincidence, without invoking anything supernatural. (Note there is some unsettled scholarship potentially linking eclipses and earthquakes, presumably somehow related to tidal forces.)

But since we live in a post-pandemic, social-media world, where influencers constantly require ever more controversial, eyeball-grabbing content, a wild frenzy of speculation about the eclipse’s effect has flooded the electronic airwaves with thousands of hours of chilling new content. I would be shocked if you haven’t seen at least some of them.

Virtually any eclipse-related apocalyptic scenario you could imagine has been predicted and described online at great length.

Getting back to the Forbes article, it reported that a slew of cities and counties have officially declared states of emergency in the face of Monday’s eclipse. The answer given to the question posed by Forbes’ headline — why? — was unsatisfying. The explanation had nothing to do with post-earthquake disaster recovery, devil comets influencing people to bite each other like rabid zombies, or the even cleaning up the mess created by the Rapture.

Nope. The emergency-declaring areas cited increased traffic caused by out-of-town eclipse watchers. It might cause inconvenience and snarl some highways, and even clog a few cell tower communications for a couple hours. In other words, it’s a nothing-burger.

Still, it’s not completely unprecedented. Prior to the 2017 eclipse, FEMA issued a guidance with similar logic — traffic gridlock and so forth — and reported sending liaison officers to emergency operations centers in several states:

earthquake? UFOs?

I doubt it. I think the complete answer is the pandemic addicted them to emergency powers.

For just one example, most emergency ordinances let cities and counties award no-bid, no-oversight contracts. That means mayors and county chairmen can ‘buy’ goods and services from whoever they want, since it’s an emergency, without needing any pre-approval or signoff from pesky, skeptical councils, commissions, or purchasing departments. It’s perfectly legal to hire your cousin at emergency rates for “traffic management consulting” or some similar undefined and unquantifiable service.

Basically, states of emergency smoothly bypass all the difficult, bureaucratic rules with all their due process and their safeguards and their checks and balances, which just gum up all the great stuff local officials really want to do. Need to do something unpopular? Declare an emergency. Need to do something fast? Declare an emergency. Have a deadlocked council? Declare an emergency.

It’s super simple! The best part is, when you think about it, anything can be an emergency. Just check the day’s headlines. Let’s see what we have to work with today … anything will work … and here’s one! How about a bug emergency? From the New York Times:

So that’s what I think. I think all the eclipse states of emergency are really about graft and political opportunism. The good news is many states — like Florida — have already started reining in local emergency authorities. But much work remains. Local, local, local.

🕶️ But wait! I teased this story mentioning a conspiracy theory I couldn’t so easily dismiss… and here it is. I have no idea what to make of it. But during my eclipse research, I ran across something I could not so easily chalk up to mere coincidence. This one is really bizarre. Take another look at the map again, at the central intersection, where New Madrid and its earthquake fault line are located. Something else lives there, and it’s much weirder:

To set the table, there is a third eclipse we haven’t mentioned yet. On December 14, 2020 — remember that date — a total solar eclipse passed across South America. Here it is:

us lay in that eclipse’s path. Yawn. But then … in a mildly interesting coincidence, the date of the 2020 South American Eclipse happened to lie exactly at the midpoint of the two Great American Eclipses. Behold:

August 21, 2017 ←→ 1211 days ←→ December 14, 2020 ←→ 1211 days — April 8, 2024.

Huh. So that’s a little curious, right? But it gets much curiouser. On the same date as the middle eclipse — December 14, 2020 — two insanely significant things happened here in the United States. First, Joe Biden was certified as Resident by the Electoral College. So, there’s that bit of insanity. But that’s not even the big one.

Second, on December 14, 2020, exactly halfway between the two Great American Eclipses, and on the same day as the South American eclipse, nurse Sandra Lindsay became the first American outside of clinical trials to be vaccinated for covid-19. Sandra got Pfizer. But forget about Sandra. The point is, December 14, 2020 was also the vaccine’s release date.

So … the deadliest medical intervention and biggest manmade disaster in history started on the day of a total eclipse, and was perfectly bracketed on both sides of the calendar by total eclipses, eclipses that happen to make an “X” over the same country that produced that same disastrous intervention.

I’ll grant you, all of that is weird and wildly coincidental. But I don’t put much stock in numerology, or astrological coincidences, and I’m not supernatural about eclipses. Thus, given only the facts I’ve reported so far, I still probably would not have taken up the time this morning to write about the Pfizer triple-eclipse connection.

But then, one more domino dropped and that was it. It got even weirder.

Turn out, the first batches of Pfizer, including Nurse Sandra’s shot, were almost certainly produced in a Pfizer manufacturing facility located in Chesterfield, Missouri, which was one of Pfizer’s very first facilities that made the vaccine.

Check this out: the Chesterfield, Missouri Pfizer plant was in or near 2017’s total eclipse path, and is also in or near 2024’s total eclipse path.

In other words: the Pfizer shots, which were first deployed precisely halfway between the two Great American Eclipses on the calendar, were also made inside the paths of both of those Great American Eclipses. Meaning, right where they intersect at the “X”:

X marks the spot. Or, the shot.