I am sure you know there are many other possible worldviews on this subject.
My favorite “expert”—far outside the two alternatives you presented:
https://podbay.fm/p/point-of-convergence
The short version of his view is that human perception, technology, religion, philosophy etal is inadequate for this task.
It is like asking ants to explain the existence of humans—it just does not compute.
Our failure to understand what is going on tells us a whole lot about us—and not much about them.
As for extraterrestrials, near-death experiences, remote viewing, etc. all belong within the mystical pantheist and occult category, ie., shamanism.