2 things, and I hope this is not too far off-thread—
1) Ignore the fps listings and lore, and try each cartridge (regardless of caliber) in your desired gun. I’ve found that some of the hypervelocity cartridges swell up tremendously in the chamber after firing and cause FTE (in some handguns and rifles, esp. in semi-autos). There also seems to be a slight case length difference in some of the rounds, especially the aluminum cases, that causes FTF in some of my semi-autos. For self-defense, it is important to use ammo that actually works and is dependable, not just looks good on paper.
2) Your mileage may vary, but I really like 22WMR for a little extra ooopmh. Now if you’re discussing subsonics and suppressed shooting, that might not fit the bill, but one of my fav concealed carry revolvers is a S&W lightweight 22WMR, the 351PD. That might be an option for a lady with small hands that wants more firepower than 22LR. Another option in that regard might be the Baretta tip-up semi-autos (22LR Bobcat, and 32acp Tomcat), where the first round can be put directly into the chamber by the tip-up barrel, and then the gun fired by DA or SA (external hammer cocked), with SA firing on second and subsequent shots of the semi-auto, eliminating the need to “rack” the slide to load a round into the chamber to start, and allowing for unloading of chambered rounds similarly—my youngest daughter really likes that tip-up option, and so will many with “weak” wrist/grip strength.
I have a few different 22WMR weapons. I like them. I have wanted a Keltec PMR30 since it was debugged and have not been able to justify its purchase in retirement — but I still want it.