Hey, you kids get off my lawn!
Posted on 01/25/2023 2:16:55 PM PST by Olog-hai
Convenience store chain 7-Eleven has discovered that homeless people don’t like opera and classical music blaring in their ears as they beg for money, do drugs, or harass the locals. The practice launched in Canada and then San Francisco and several beach locales in Florida followed suit. Now, it’s a mainstream solution for business owners struggling to cope in certain neighborhoods. The immediate problem is that a whole lot of customers who buy Twinkies, lottery tickets, and slushies don’t much like that style of music either. Therein lies the rub.
“Studies have shown that the classical music is annoying. Opera is annoying, and I’m assuming they are correct because it’s working,” said franchise owner Jagat Patel of Austin, TX. Patel has had several complaints about the volume but noted that no police have shown up to tell him to turn it down.
Never underestimate the ingenuity of the capitalist mind: Exploiting a disdain for some music genres, 7-Elevens across the country are practicing this effective dispersal of the homeless — especially in Texas, where people tend to handle their problems without much permission from any government agency. So leave it to the Lone Star folks to use the aggressive and tinny tones of some pieces — like a scherzo from Schubert — to drive the unwashed masses to, say, a local Circle K store playing Barry Manilow’s greatest hits. […]
Neurologists have long touted the benefits of music on the brain. When hearing a pleasant sound, dopamine is released, and mood is enhanced. Everyone knows this. The opposite is also true: Classical music is not everyone’s cup of tea, and when exposed to it, a lot of people avoid souring their pleasure centers by skedaddling. Genius. …
(Excerpt) Read more at libertynation.com ...
If people knew the classical music was being played to make their shopping experience a good deal more safe and less bothersome, they might tolerate it a bit more.
Classical music, particularly played over crappy public-address sound-systems is extremely useful at keeping “yutes” away.
Blast “Ride of the Valkyries” at them! Then, for good measure, hose them down.
A more permanent solution would be to distribute Fentanyl to them instead
Hey, you kids get off my lawn!
I remember the parks and businesses in Seattle in the late 80s and early 90s would play classical music at night so tourists wouldn’t be assaulted by roving bands of teens.
I prefer Barry Manilow.
I’ve heard CRT proponents whine that classical music creates a “white space” and sends a signal to BIPOCs that they’re not welcome in a store.
Classical music would certainly make my shopping experiences more pleasant. The crappy music I currently have to listen to makes me want to buy what I need and get out as quickly as possible.
Walmart is the worst! My local grocery has talk radio on, or if it is a fall Saturday afternoon, the college football game. I spend more time there since the store doesn’t blare out rap music.
I actually enjoy classical music. I’d be hanging around, to shop of course. Here’s some. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKGtwNZfd8k
I was at the local thrift shop, and these two female shoppers had a little girl probably 3 and a boy 2 in their shopping cart.
I assume they were both female anyway, but with the green and blue hair, nose horseshoes and big circles in their ears it was hard to be sure, anyway the little girl was screaming her lungs out, and let me tell you she had no trouble breathing.
after a few minutes I walked over to the little girl, knelt down, looked her in the eye and said “if you do not stop screaming I will have your mom make you listen to Opera for an Hour.”
The one who I assumed was the friend tried really hard not to crack up but failed.
The mom just glared at me.
at least little kid shut up while trying to understand what had just happened.
Thanks!
To paraphrase Dave Barry:
There are basically two kinds of music: classical and popular. In other words, classical music is not popular.
You’re welcome. Patricia Janeckova is probably one of the best young singers out there.
Play Journey nonstop. That should do it.
IDK, sounds racist.
If they’re in a hurry they should try Wagner, Prokofiev, and/or Stravinsky.
I’d leave a vapor trail bugging out.
Not the first two albums.
Lol!
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