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The idea that you could just bypass the entire Constitutionally-mandated impeachment procedure simply by some lowly federal prosecutor bringing charges against a sitting President, and then having him convicted in any one of nearly 700 federal district courts around the country, is absolutely absurd.

What is absurd is your statement.

...some lowly federal prosecutor bringing charges against a sitting President...

This is a private citizen bringing charges, not a federal prosecutor, lowly or otherwise.

...700 federal district courts around the country...

Court Role and Structure

The Supreme Court is the highest court in the United States. Article III of the U.S. Constitution created the Supreme Court and authorized Congress to pass laws establishing a system of lower courts. In the federal court system’s present form, 94 district level trial courts and 13 courts of appeals sit below the Supreme Court.

This is a private citizen bringing charges, not a federal prosecutor, lowly or otherwise.

First, private citizens cannot indict or formally file charges under federal law. They can file reports or complaints with a U.S. attorneys office, but it is up to a prosecutor as to whether or not to actually bring federal charges. So to the extent they are trying to act as some kind of private criminal prosecutors, they lose right there at the outset.

As for your argument about the number of federal districts...this is why I hate debating with non-laeters because most of them have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to legal process, courts, etc..

There are 94 federal districts, but the vast majority of those have multiple judges and multiple courtrooms. In fact, maybe there is some weird district that has only one, but if so, I don't know where it is. So yes, there are over nearly 700 actual federal judges who preside over their own court, and you only need one to get a conviction and, under your theory, remove a President from office.

This is a private citizen bringing charges, not a federal prosecutor, lowly or otherwise.

Private citizens do not bring criminal charges. Were it a criminal case, the caption would be United States v. or The People of the State of [blank] v., or The State of [blank] v..

The origin case number was 1:21-CV-00111-JNP. It is a civil suit for damages, not a criminal action which can only be brought by a government prosecutor.