“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
“I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.”
“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”
A girl phoned me the other day and said... ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
“When I was a kid my parents left me on the beach. I asked a cop to help me.
I said “Do you think we’ll ever find them?’’
He said “ I dunno kid, there’s a lot of places they can hide!’’.