ROFL!! Maybe you can get your wife to become a trained massage therapist, who doubles as a nurse to get your coffee IV started. Of course there’s always the chance she’d find a younger man to provide that service to.
My woman called me a misogynist. I thanked her and told her I had no special training, but I think the Neutrogena oil is why I seem so good. But she just scowled at me...
Women are inscrutable sometimes.