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Taking your point seriously for a minute - suppose this Congress were to enter into joint session and did in fact

1) Agree to reopen the matter of the electoral votes; and
2) Received objections from a House Member and a US Senator; and therefore
3) Undertook to rule on the objections

How long would it take this Congress (in seconds, or minutes if you prefer) to dismiss the objections and recertify Biden and Harris?

suppose this Congress were to enter into joint session and did in fact 1) Agree to reopen the matter of the electoral votes;

That's the rub. The date to resolve Electoral Votes has passed for this election cycle and Pres. Trump's Constitutionally defined term date has passed as well. We now have good prospects of an election being cited for fraud and being labeled UNLAWFUL due to that fraud. Fraud vitiate everything, including Presidential inaugurations. To that end resident Biden is not allowed to keep his ill-gotten prize because HE DID NOT QUALIFY due to fraud that was not detected until after his inauguration. But there is no statute of limitations in play here. That ALSO includes the Congressional candidates in the election. So their votes in Congress can all be nullified due to fraud, which is a good basis of a quo warranto motion to let Congress know who to eject from their bodies DUE TO FRAUD (they don't qualify). Now look up unqualified President and VP in the Constitution, which sets forth the path forward.

How long would it take this Congress (in seconds, or minutes if you prefer) to dismiss the objections and recertify Biden and Harris?

The closer Congresscritters are to an election, the more responsive they are to popular opinion. So, a lame duck session cares little about what the populous thinks of its actions. At the start of a new term in January, is just behind the lame duck session in that regard. Time, therefore, is on our side, not the coup conspirators. A Congress that simply refuses to address obvious fraud should get smoked in midterm election for failing to guarantee a "Republican form of government". Media propaganda is becoming less effective denying the obvious.