Rigged Election, Covid & Riots….The Ghosts of Christmas Past and Yet to Come

Flopping Aces ^ | 01-04-20 | Larry Brandes

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My wife and I had just recently finished reading A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. I must have been subconsciously dreaming about that book last night when I was awakened from my slumber by a ringing phone.  I answered the call and an eerie, mournful, voice on the line said, “You will be visited tonight by two ghosts-the Ghost of Christmas Past and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.”  I replied, “Hey, I thought that there were supposed to be 3 ghosts.”  The unknown caller sighed and said, “You get two ghosts-deal with it,” and hung up. I went back to bed and pondered the bizarre call.  At precisely 11:00 p.m. the Ghost of Christmas Past appeared in my bedroom and said, “Let’s review 8 events that transpired in 2020.” I said, “I would rather not.  I hated 2020.” The Ghost of Christmas Past ignored me and replied, “Hold my hand. Let’s take a quick journey and examine just a few of the events that crippled your nation.”   

1. COVID-19: That was a pesky little disease which either escaped (oops) or was set free (evil) from those wonderful folks in Communist China.  The disease quickly spread across the globe, infecting people, killing thousands, decimating families, overwhelming governments, health care systems and causing mayhem in its wake. When the whole world anxiously inquired about the outbreak, China very helpfully replied, “What outbreak? Things are fine as wine in Wuhan. Take some bat soup home with you.” In San Francisco, Nancy Pelosi was televised on NBC visiting Chinatown, and invited everyone to join her because in her words, “Everything is fine here.”  Meanwhile, in Wuhan everything was apparently not fine because five million screaming Chinese residents fled Wuhan in panic.  Donald Trump initiated a warp speed plan to develop a vaccine which miraculously appeared by the end of the year.  However, in gratitude for his amazing accomplishment, America dumped Trump and elected sleepy Joe Biden to finish the job, defeat COVID and apologize to China for Trump being a big poopy head.
2. TRUMP LOSES AN ELECTION HE WON: Only in 2020 could the best president in our lifetime have been deposed by sleepy Joe and his sidekick Kamala Harris.  Trump won 74 million votes, 2,497 Counties, 18/19 bellweathers, and the states of Florida, Ohio, and Iowa. By some strange quirk of fate, Joe, who campaigned from his basement, snatched victory from the jaws of defeat and received more votes than even Obama.  Yeah, even Dems can’t shake the stench of corruption off of that rotten carcass.
3. BIDEN WINS AN ELECTION HE LOST:   Biden won a rigged election.  It’s almost like two billionaires were bored and made a bet that one could elect anyone as president of the United States.  The bet included three caveats; the person selected had to stay in his basement and could not campaign.  He also had to have been in government for at least 47 years and must select the most unpopular, unelectable, female on the planet as VP.  Hillary was highly considered for this role but it was quickly determined that her selection rendered the bet untenable.  After an intense debate the two billionaires settled on a ticket of Biden/Harris and they shook hands.
4. CHINA: While the entire country was focused on Hilaria Baldwin pronouncing the word cucumber, merry Meghan Markle,  Kim’s pandemic birthday party, Epstein’s death from COVID and my favorite, a new baby named X AE A-Xii born to Grimes, everyone forgot about China. While our nation was distracted, China was making moves to conquer the world.  They consider their evil machinations as a marathon and not as a 100 yard dash. They read Hitler’s book, Mein Kampf, thought they could do better and have stealthily infiltrated the U.S. Government at various levels.  Senator Feinstein employed a Chinese spy as a chauffeur for twenty years and Swalwell and his main Chinese squeeze Fang Fang were apparently doing the horizontal Mambo.  China must be really serious about taking over the entire world.
5. LOCKDOWNS: Thanks to Covid-19 (the gift that keeps on giving) many states in the United States were locked down.  Churches, schools, restaurants, gyms, non-essential businesses and hair salons were closed and owners were punished for defying the Fuhrer’s orders.  Strip clubs, liquor stores, pot distributers, vaping distributers and casinos remained open for business. Millions of people lost their jobs, ran out of money and were stuck in their homes for ….well, they’re still there.  Food is short, tempers are flaring but the Government stepped up big time and said, “We are here to help you.  We just stuck a check for 600 bucks of your own money in the mail.”   It was rumored that the Queen of Hearts, Nancy Pelosi, make a snarky comment and said, “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche,” – let them eat cake but I don’t think that Nancy speaks French and she was wearing a stupid looking face mask that muffled her words.
6. RIOTS: Riots broke out around the country.  Beautiful cities like Portland, Minneapolis, Kenosha, New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Washington DC, and Chicago suffered extensive damage. Businesses were looted and statues were toppled.  Many people were hurt but one sharp TV reporter described the protest, standing directly in front of a burning building, to be “mostly peaceful.” Apparently the smoke and flames were clues that he missed.
7. DEFUND THE POLICE: In another brilliant move, some cities decided that the police were the problem.  In what appeared to be a very simple solution to a very complicated problem, eradicating the police seemed to solve all of their difficulties.  The wise leaders of Portland, Seattle, Minneapolis and Los Angeles drained millions of dollars from their police budgets, allowed angry mobs to burn police stations and basically instructed police to “stand down,” and let rioters be rioters.  I love the smell of burning police stations in the morning.  When the smoke cleared, so had a majority of their underpaid and unappreciated police officers who quit and sought employment elsewhere. The criminals were ecstatic and demonstrated their sincere appreciation by killing, robbing and stealing everything and everyone in their path.  The rich folks hired moving companies and the poor folks were just abandoned, like always, and left wondering what just happened to America.

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