We’re waiting for the police body cam video showing Andy G. hugging the porcelain god. Ok by me if they blur out his butt cheeks.
GILLLUM’S STATEMENT TO THE PRESS:
“I was sipping a diet Pepsi, in self isolation at the hotel, to protect my beloved wife and family from coronavirus, when there was a knock at the door.”
“Puzzled, since I was not expecting anyone, I threw open the door to find a gentlemen clad only in chaps, holding three bags of Gummi Bears and a pepperoni pizza, which I did not order.”
“Ready to ride, cowboy?” he said.
“I religiously practice social distancing so when he got in my face, I was forced to strip naked because I feared contamination.”
“He started man-handling me. At one point I firmly but politely asked him to take his tongue out of my navel but hr wouldnt stop (heavy breathing).”
“Please,” I said.
“And with that I found myself face-down on the bed as the guy started slathering my butt with extra virgin olive oil. I smelt like a frickin’ Ceasar salad.
“As a happily married man devoted to my wife and children,I was disgusted at the things he forced me to do. But when he asked me to play with his nipple rings, I had just about had it.”
“I was grateful when the police burst through the door.”