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1st Home defense in normal times. It is wise to have a weapon that uses ammunition that you have a large store of. I like 9mm because it is effective, safe and cheap. My wife likes 38 because it is effective and cheap. Because the 38 special ammo actually has a larger charge than the 9mm I am afraid that if I ever have to shoot someone the round would go through a person and injure someone else so I like the slightly less powerful 9mm.

Without sounding like a jerk (hard for me, I know,) I'd like to unpack that paragraph just a bit.

9mm is effective, safe, and cheap, but .38 is effective and cheap, implying it's not safe?

Taking defensive loads for both into consideration, not target or plinking loads, the 9mm ballistics are greater than .38 spl. .38 spl is closer to .380 in ballistics, so overpenetration vs. the 9mm is not an issue. Nothing wrong with that, the .38 spl is a fine defensive round, and I carry 125 grain +Ps in my J-Frame, but keep in mind that case length does not equal powder charge. The .38 spl case was originally designed for black powder, which is why it is so big. 9mm was a smokeless powder round from the start, which is why the case is shorter.

https://homesteading-guide.com/%EF%BB%BF-38-special-vs-9mm/

.357 Magnum is a different story, however, and is usually more powerful than 9mm in defensive loads. So perhaps you were referring to .357 when you said .38?