This is a much better one to answer.
They sleep ALL of the time! They are worse than teenagers, up all night and sleep all day.
If she is forgetting how to eat and bathe, she is getting pretty far along.
Telephone calls will be near impossible. First of all, their hearing is bad. Next is that most communication is visual. They take their cues from who they are talking to.
They also start a process where when they get confused and they start talking in what I refer to as the infinite loop—the same phrases, stories, or complaints. Over and over. That is because it is comfortable to them. If you are not exposed to this regularly, it is very disorienting.
I find that I listen to my mom and when she goes off on a tangent I just let her go. I laugh when she laughs. I nod when she is intent. It doesn’t matter. She is not going to recall it in ten minutes. What does matter is that you are there.
The thing is dementia meds is they do not stop or reverse the process. They simply make the path a little smoother.
My mom will sleepwalk, and hallucinate. I often hear about the visitors she has. (Most of them died years ago.)
I think the best advice is this: If you are not the primary care giver, be aware that you are going to disrupt the routine. I dont mean that in a bad way—but you are different and these folks need their routine. So expect anything and everything.
Also, your mom is happy to see you. She might be confused and she might not seem to care. But she does.
This disease is a disease of the personality as much as it is the body. Your mom’s brain is trying like hell to process information, but the wiring is being re-routed and it isn’t working right. She may swear more than she used to. She might not know you. She may relieve herself in the kitchen. None of this is intentional and she has no filters or sense of propriety. Seeing your mom function with just a “lizard brain” is disturbing as hell.
But, you are doing a good thing. She needs you. Keep a sense of humor. And understand the woman you are visiting IS your mom...just a bit “off.”
Your sharing personal experiences is greatly appreciated!
I concur with trying to keep a sense of humor, while remembering the good times and the in-the-moment of connection.