There is no second place in a war. Ask those in the Confederacy when they lost. Ask the Germans when they lost, Ask the Japanese when they lost. The butchers bill is sometimes high. But the bill has to be paid to win. In this case winning is the only thing.
Grant had almost three times Lee's numbers and chose to simply throw his men away like human sacrifices. He would locate Lee's army and played greater numbers against lesser numbers... whether in The Wilderness or dug in positions at Cold Harbor. He treated his soldiers like expendable fodder. Nuff said.
Along with the concept of butchery, we have Sherman who grabbed what his men needed and burned everything else, including any food for plantation slaves he came across. He refused to feed them and drove them away from his camps, leaving countless thousands to die. More butchery.
None of these actions by Grant or Sherman were bills needing to be paid.