“...this Russian guy was trying to buy me off. Also, I didn’t have the heart to tell “Ivan” that his ruble coin wasn’t going to buy me jack-squat at the Big E fair. So I handed my ruble coin off to a 5-year old boy with melted ice cream all over his face....”
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Hello, I’m from the Associated Press and we would like to so a feature story on your experiences with Russian collution. Would you meet with us? We can reimburse you for your trouble. The more such experiences you can remember, the greater our reimbursements to you will be.