Lawyers will tell you it doesnt matter who is plaintiff, and who is defendant.
It is true because lawyers make money no matter which one you are.
It does matter if you file or she does. My advice is you file first as plaintiff. As the guy if you file electronically, watch the system you are using because often it will change the man to be the defendant. I helped a friend and was doing some of the system filing online and it switched it multiple times as info was entered.
My wife and I have decided that whomever would want to get a divorce would be forced to take both the house and the kids.