Posted on 08/17/2015 9:28:41 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
Of course, many don’t marry until their 50’s, if at all, these days.
But I actually agree with you. It is not the living arrangement itself that is so wrong, but the infantilization of the next generation that is gross and problematic.
It is probably that those that are losing at life, end up living at home. Rather than living at home results in losing at life.
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Not from what I see in our own community. Ambition seems to be lacking in those taking up extended residence at home. Their initial departures were very short lived and they quickly moved back to the security and conveniences of home.
When MOST of your kids return home for extended periods, the parents need to do some serious soul searching.
Eventually, “kids” get used to living comfortably without having hardly any expenses. So when you live for free (or nearly free), its a very big jump to having to suddenly pay for rent, car payments, utilities, health care, food, insurance, etc. should you leave the nest.
I agree, too many milennials just want to avoid having to work.
There was no welfare or social security net so non-working elderly had to rely on their children to care for them in old age.
Men would go off to work and women would stay in the home and cook and clean. There was no option to sit on the couch and watch television or play video games all day while working "part-time" at the local fast food joint. Men had to go out and earn real money and women had to do endless chores around the house, care for the elderly parents and grandparents while raising the children. People got married much younger. Houses and apartments were much smaller those days.
In those days, you had the world on your shoulder by the time you were 18. There was no such thing as extended adolescence and slackers and shiftless layabouts would not be tolerated.
Worst thing I ever did starting out was to buy my cars new and to rent housing, stupid, stupid, STUPID! But you can’t go back, you can only pass on what you’ve learned — unless the kids take to the road from job to job, til 20 years have passed, age discrimination creeps in (sure as the tides) and they have zip (like some of my old friends).
Certainly, a fair point.
I'd postulate though, that the BA in "Paleo-Feminist Studies" will produce two things:
1. Crippling Student Loans.
2. Zero job prospects.
For years, the self-esteem movement has told a generation of wilting daisies, "You're SPECIAL!! You can BE anything you want to BE! Do what inspires YOU!!!". Until reality comes along and slaps them in the face. They find out "Social Justice and Community Organizing" may be "inspiring" and "special", but it won't pay the bills. And the teachers who sold them the same line of BS, won't be footing their bills, either.
Meanwhile, a plumber probably isn't all that inspired to climb through all the muck under a house to fix a leaking pipe, but he knows exactly where the next mortgage check is coming from.
I’m a millennial but find it impossible to relate to this construct the author is attempting to knock down.
I own 4 houses (bought with my OWN funds), any of which would be delightful to live in. Instead I now live in the family home most of the time, and they need me way more than I need them, in the sense of “dependency” the author is using.
Although I was taught real estate investment at the parental knee, I have a day job in retail. No cold spaghetti sandwiches here. Certainly no rent checks; not even coming in (that was RE101, don’t be a landlord!) No student loans.
IMO the author has a low opinion of young people per se, or he thinks a close-knit family is just a euphemism for a moocher-host relationship.
It is not difficult to be financially independent in one’s 20’s. Work. Avoid debt. Whether you start out with a silver spoon or a cracked cup, do those two things.
““Hey girl, want to come back to my parent’s place?” is a line that even Ryan Gosling couldn’t pull off. “
Well, if you’re avoiding fornication, this should not be a turn off.
Multi-generational family dwelling is nothing to be ashamed of. If it makes sense, do it. If not, fine.
But it’s not a bad thing in and of itself.
I lived with the family and commuted to my entry level Big City job so I could save for a few months rent.
Soon after signing the lease for my spacious 500 square foot Big City apartment, I learned some valuable lessons:
1. Ramen noodles taste good with anything.
2. Money tree seeds are inherently defective. Couldn’t get them to grow. Tried everything: shade, more water, less water, singing, full sunlight. Nothing worked. I had to learn how to budget. Ugh.
3. My mother developed a strange phobia. She never answered my phone calls directly. Everything went to one of those ancient devices called an answering machine. This affliction seemed to go away after I stopped asking her for money. A modern miracle!
4. I had to make do with three pairs of shoes. This was the greatest sacrifice anyone could possibly imagine. Think about that. Three pairs! Absolutely horrible resisting temptation every time I strolled by that store window with its rows of creatively arranged goodness.
The younger generations will be fine as long as we provide them a real economic future. That means fighting for them using the battle cry a wonderful man named Jeff Sessions helped craft.
Then put the xbox away in a deep dark closet, bake them some cookies, and tell them to get a job.
I’ll add that a strong family is the chief deterrent to a welfare state.
If your family infantalizes you or weakens you, by all means move out. But if their is mutual adult respect, support, and love, there is no shame in pooling assets and working together.
It’s a FAMILY.
Well.....actually..... :-) That's exactly what college sells.
I don't regret my degree one bit, and it's opened doors that would likely have been closed, otherwise. But, 95% of what I was sold in college was complete BS. For instance, I was told that I'd get my degree (BS, Electrical Engineering) and walk out into a (GOOD money, at the time)$40,000-$50,000 / year job, handed to me by recruiters that were lining the gold-paved streets, waving banners with my picture on it, and chanting my name. Of course, I believed it.
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That did happen to a handful of engineers that I graduated with, either because they knew someone, or were able to land a good interning job while still in school. The rest were like me, starting out on the bottom rung, and working stupid hours to climb our way up.
I'm no dummy, and I got a solid education. I can't imagine what would have happened if I was a little farther to the left on the IQ bell curve, with a lesser work ethic, a degree in "Lesbian and Gender Studies", and a massive ego from being told how special I was for the first 21 years of my life.
I was lucky, in that my parents (Dad, especially) taught me that the best way to get ahead was by working your butt off, and that the world didn't owe me a thing. So many kids today don't have parent who love them enough to let them fall on their face, and who are tough enough to lay down the law ("You can move home, no problem. But these are the terms: You'll have a job by the end of the month. You'll perform the following chores..... etc").
I think the article is basically b.s. aimed at trying to part fools and their $$$
So many kids today don’t have parent who love them enough to let them fall on their face
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How true. Enjoyed reading your comments.
Enduring a few hardships is part of life. And you learn valuable life lessons from them. Most successful people have failed a time or two in their lives but in many cases they learned what NOT to do, and that led to future success. Some go so far as to say that failure is the best teacher. The real school that really matters is the School of Hard Knocks.
It’s a FAMILY.
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Understand your point but some families are enablers. Maybe not intentionally, but there’s a tendency toward that. There’s a fine line between helping and enabling.
Just like in the work environment, you want to see people in your charge grow in their jobs to assume greater levels of responsibility. Same thing holds true in the family environment. If you’re not challenging them to advance and mature, you’re not helping them IMO.
I don’t know. I don’t understand the kids living at home thing and never did.
I was out of college at 22 with a good paying job and paid all my own expenses. I married my husband at 23 who was a young military officer. We had our first child at 24. We’ve been independent since day one.
Now we have one who is totally independent, and one who is slower to launch. It’s tough for us to watch as he just seems to not realize how fast life goes by. None of them do .... They just delay and delay. I just hate to even imagine them as they get to be our age. Life is difficult enough without having to be constantly behind the power curve in terms of having enough. Money to live on, to save, and invest.
The drive for them to party and pursue their pleasure able selfish interests is strong nowadays. Success is not held up as the ideal anymore .... It’s all about the stupid causes ... The environment, animal rights, gay rights .... Whatever .... Then there’s the gaming, the social media, etc. we also do quite well so why move out of a nice place in a nice neighborhood when you get it all rent free?
There are many days when we have threatened to dump him off at a homeless shelter.... We took him down to the military recruiting office and that woke him up a little. He’s decided to work and save up so he can go back to school now .... He’s 23.
There is nothing wrong with living with your parents and contributing. There is everything wrong with those who are slugs with no future mooching off their parents.
This whole failure to launch has been a problem with Millenials. They do it to themselves by voting for democrats, liberal policies, and 2x for a fraud in the WH. They have been setback years from gaining entry level business skills, accumulating basic starter wealth, and have a government that steals from their future. But they will slavishly, servile-like, run out and vote straight D every chance they get.
I divorced, refused child support (which would have taken him to the cleaners) with the aim that he would put a sane amount of money into a savings account for the kid (which he didn’t do).
For my part I bought a house in a blue collar neighborhood and worked, refusing to date because I resented the hell out of all the married men who figured this was a fire sale. As a result my kid has had a crash course in frugality and personal responsibility.
Now she’s in college, so it’s a little early to tell, but her focus is on becoming as employable as possible. Mention “triggering” and “women’s studies” and she hisses like a vampire dragged into the light. She has a friend who has become a fixture on her mom’s couch, but that girl is a source of consternation for my daughter who tries to talk her into doing something to get on with her life.
I view my family as a team, and believe I’ve passed that on. You celebrate one another’s successes, you don’t enable bad behavior.
If kids are running around partying and do other recreational activities which require a certain level of funding, I would question that.
I never had a dime of student debt. Our kids didn't either. But with all of Obama's forgiveness gimmees, we're footing the bill for everyone else's debt. The sad lesson I've learned is we're the dumb ones for taking responsibility for our bills and not shoving them off on everyone else.
“Since graduation a few months ago, I’ve bleached colors and burnt minute-rice; I’ve shrunk clothes and set grease fires. It’s been rough, unpleasant, and always worth it.”
So this author graduated from college without knowing how to do laundry? I don’t think he has earned the right to give advice on success just yet.
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