[ProtectOurFreedom]

I will prepare any state a Global Climate Change Hazard Mitigation Plan for only $100,000. (Don’t call me Gruber — I’m affordable by any state)

Rough draft:

1. If sea level increases, build sea walls.
2. If snow stops falling, shut down ski resorts
3. If temperatures go up, have local retail stores run more sale on air conditioners.
4. If the opposite of #1-3 occurs, then don’t build sea walls, keep ski resorts open, and tell citizens to run their AC less often.

I’ll send you my bill.

[Rodamala]

If the opposite happens, states will need more Federal money to build more ski resorts and transportation enhancement for building and maintaining the new highways that will access these resorts. It’s for the children!