Thank you kindly, Finny.
What it boiled down to for me was how much did I want to be free?
I have experienced nothing worse in my life than being a literal slave to a chemical. In my case it was benzos ( xanax and valium and such).
To know what is like to wake up each day and before I eat, drink or even breath, I have to know where my next dose is coming from, or I am literally going to die from withdrawal, I mean actual death.
I was forced, by way of this prison I put myself in, to commit serious felonies in terms of acquiring and possessing these drugs illegally, or death.
That is truly Hell, and I wanted to be free more than anything in this world, and today I am.
Once you hit rock bottom, in my case it was running to of xanax and not being able to get more, all you can do is turn over, look up and start climbing.
And I did not make that journey on the first trip. it took falling back into the hole two more times before I finally got out.
The two things that stood out most about that time of my life was pain and prayer.
I couldn’t have done it without God’s help. He saved me by helping me save myself.
Oh, man ... God bless you. Amen.