>>A simple question for a simple but fraught situation:
A woman who refuses to practice, but nonetheless has access to a weapon. Should she be told to just point in the general direction of the bad guy and empty the magazine?<<
First, you need to verify that she is keeping her eyes open when she pulls the trigger.
Second, you need to determine exactly why she refuses to practice. Possibilities are the noise frightens her, the recoil hurts her hands, she is afraid that you or someone else will belittle her for poor performance, she doesn’t have the self confidence necessary to take a life. And a whole long list of other reasons.
Going back to First. If she refuses or is unable to keep her eyes open when she squeezes the trigger, explain to her what happens when a bullet passes through walls and windows. The possibility of wounding or killing the wrong person goes through he roof! I would recommend taking the gun away from her. Replace it with a Taser or some wasp spray or mace or some other deterrent, but don’t allow her to have a firearm.
See if she will practice with someone else without you in the immediate area. If she will, then something about your mannerisms is the problem. Ignore it. Don’t be offended. Ask the other person to teach her the basic rules of safe gun handling, verify she keeps her eyes open when squeezing the trigger. Then determine her effective shooting range with the weapon and explain the reasons why not to shoot beyond that distance.
Good luck
Good advice.