I am so sorry about your predicament, Marie. Living in constant pain has to be a hell on earth. It must zap any energy... both physical and mental from you. Don’t worry about the anti-drug freepers. Chances are they haven’t been in your shoes or seen someone die in agony. I’ve said this before (much to the dismay and shock of some), that I considered buying marijuana when my Mother was dying from pancreatic cancer. To see a once beautiful woman... unable to eat was heart breaking. I could literally check on her in the morning and by evening.. she as smaller, more frail and weak. A good eating day consisted of two gingersnap cookies and some water. Day in, day out. The only problem is that I didn’t have any idea in the world where to get it; however, I would have purchased it in a minute if it could have helped her.
Prayers for you and relief of your pain. You are a good person and I admire that you are able to educate us of your condition and post when you can. Hugs, Mom
I’m so sorry about your mom.
I understand completely. You jump off your high horse with a quickness when someone you love is is pain.
Both of my children made contacts in highschool to help me out. I made them both back off and they were very upset with me. They just wanted to help and I wouldn’t let them risk their future so that I could have a few hours of relief.
Trust me, your mom is alright with your intentions.
I think that, for me, the worst part is being nothing more than a lump in the lives of the people I love. My pain has to come first in everything. I can’t be depended on. I can’t be counted on. I can’t even trust myself to carry through with the most basic things.
What pisses me off is what happens when I *DO* get pain relief. Suddenly I can clean. I can get off the couch. I can laugh and enjoy my family and function like a normal human being.
And then I see where my life COULD be if I had help. Not a half-life lived, but a whole woman with everything to give her family.
Modern medicine can’t FIX me. I’m unfixable. I’m broken.
But it could give me a quality of life if the LAW would just allow it.