Good grief, the very first “sentence” of the story isn’t even a sentence. Was this a paper for a remedial social studies class at an “alternative school” somewhere? Because holy crap, this is awful writing. This kid needs to find a different profession.
Exactly! That was way beyond bad grammar. That was "repeat the fifth grade" incoherent.
A couple of admittedly out of context examples that come to mind.
A car collided under the bridge...
The victim fell into the river and drowned to death...
The governor has asked that all schools and government buildings fly flags at half mast today...
The restaurant had to be closed due to a fire across town.
Tonight's low will be a high in the mid 20's.
It will be sunny and dry with scattered showers and thunderstorms through the day.
After being beaten to death the victim walked across the street and collapsed on a neighbor's porch. He's hospitalized and listed in serious condition this morning.
These are excerpts from writers with college degrees and newsroom experience.
I weep.